The Lost PowerPoint Slides: Ruff ‘n Ready in Merry Olde England (Part 15)

The Lost PowerPoint SlidesQueen Elizabeth I
In her day, the first Queen Elizabeth (Queen Elizabeth I), was widely regarded as the scariest female to roam the planet since Lucy the Menopausal T-Rex. Of course, her closest advisers and the members of the English court knew that was far from the truth: Elizabeth would have destroyed Lucy.

However, amongst her subjects, she was known as Good Queen Bess; she was known as the Virgin Queen, and much beloved because she really did care about her people. The whole question of virginity was a potential PR nightmare, though in the long run, not as destructive as the lead-based makeup Bess spackled onto her face for public functions.

Good Queen Bess's Lost PowerPoint Slide

The Spanish Armada

In 1588 the King of Spain (Phillip II) finally got fed up with English privateers continually raiding his ships and colonies in the New World. (Note: Privateers were a kind of state-sanctioned pirate. Though they were obligated to give a portion of their booty to the monarch who licensed their pillaging, they still had hooks for hands, parrots for pets, and spent a great deal of time obsessing over “pieces of eight.”)

To put an end to English interference, Phillip amassed a ginormous flotilla — the didn’t call it an “Armada” for nothing — to support his invasion of England. The Spanish fleet might have sailed in 1587, had not the English hero, Sir Francis Drake, staged a preemptive raid on Cadiz.

Kiss My Golden Hind

For an armada of humor, set sail for the Archipelago of Chuckles. More Lost PowerPoint Slides can be found here. Originally published, June 2008. And today, incidentally, is the anniversary of the Battle of Gravelines, in which the English beat the Spanish Armada. (With the help of the weather.)

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