How to Play Monkey-Robot-Pirate-Ninja-Zombie (moropinzee)

In honour of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I thought I’d revisit my version of the classic rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from the schematic below, each thing can beat two other things, and is, in turn beaten by two other things.

Monkey-robot-pirate-ninja-zombie -- the hand game

The players both count to five (three), though it is obviously better to repeat the name of the game (Monkey! Robot! Pirate! Ninja! Zombie!). Each time you raise your fist and swing it down. On the fifth (third) count, you form your hand into one of the five gestures. (It is recommended that in addition to the hand gesture, you also add an aural component to this — see below for suggested noises.)

So, what beats what, and what are the gestures? What?

The monkey gestureMonkey

  • Monkey fools Ninja
  • Monkey unplugs Robot

Suggested noise: ee-ee-eek!

The gesture for robotRobot

  • Robot chokes Ninja
  • Robot crushes Zombie

Suggested noise: ex-ter-min-ate!

The gesture for piratePirate

  • Pirate drowns Robot
  • Pirate skewers Monkey

Suggested noise: arrrrr!

The gesture for ninjaNinja

  • Ninja karate chops Pirate
  • Ninja decapitates Zombie

Suggested noise: keeee-ah!

the gesture for zombieZombie

  • Zombie eats Pirate
  • Zombie savages Monkey

Suggested noise: braaaaaaaaaainsss!


There is a logic to the hand gestures provided, and with any luck they are perfectly obvious. Now, you may be wondering, “Mark, are you totally insane? Are you procrastinating, perchance? Or are you just bored?” The answer is yes.

Update: based on a scientific survey of the comments, Twitter and Facebook updates, “moropinzee” seems to be the easiest name for this game to remember. Someone also had the excellent notion that there could be a full-body dance to celebrate a win.

Alltop and is easy to beat because they always choose monkey. Swirlee.com had an earlier concept, and I’ve come up with the hand signs, graphics and sound effects.聽(I’ve also seen it on some message boards too, so yeah, a little derivative.)聽Originally posted in March, 2009.

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68 Responses to How to Play Monkey-Robot-Pirate-Ninja-Zombie (moropinzee)

  1. crazyideafactory June 29, 2010 at 7:30 am #

    I think I’ll have to keep a little notepad to remind me of all the rules. My vote is the monkey always wins.

  2. Mojo Brown August 18, 2010 at 5:08 pm #

    Saw this in the back of Marvellous Hairy, I have totally got to learn the effects for this. Memorizing this can’t be any harder than solving a Rubik’s Cube! Nothing like adding a bit of dimension to Rock, paper, scissors, classic stuff!

  3. Cipherthe3vil August 26, 2010 at 1:34 am #

    Ninja Does Not Beat Pirate.

    Robot > Zombie
    Robot > Monkey
    Robot < Ninja
    Robot < Pirate
    Zombie < Robot
    Zombie < monkey
    *hour later*
    Pirate <<>><<<<<>>>>>>> *error, world has exploded. good bye*

    VS’ing Pirates and Ninja is like dividing by zero.

    How about Samurai and Knights instead ?

  4. David M. Anderson September 9, 2010 at 4:39 pm #

    @Dan: Actually, Monkey-Robot-Ninja-Zombie-Pirate beats Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock because it’s more original, but Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock beats Rock-Paper-Scissors because it is a proper extension, and Rock-Paper-Scissors beats Monkey-Robot-Ninja-Zombie-Pirate because it is the original.
    @Randy: I go for your name, because order does matter. Evan’s order is in keeping with the original, but MoRoNiZeeP is easier to remember.

  5. Mark A. Rayner September 9, 2010 at 8:48 pm #

    I’ve been having some success remembering MoPIROninZee. Interesting we all want to start with monkey. It all begins with the monkey…

  6. Due Trose September 29, 2010 at 8:57 pm #

    Maybe to go with the fact that it’s the updated ftw version they should be full-body conclusions. Like you do the dance the robot if you pick robot and the typical monkey dance says you’re monkey. Everybody knows the hungry for brains stance, a million martial arts stances and that just leaves the pirate. For which I’d suggest pulling a fake sword from its sheath with an “arrgh!”

  7. LIL Kid October 25, 2010 at 6:32 pm #

    Me and my brother sing all the names in clock wise.

  8. DudeIt'sMe March 24, 2011 at 1:31 pm #

    WTH, Pod Lowe! First of all, It would be 20 points from SLYTHERIN, not GRYFFINDOR, and second, dude, orriginality doesnt exist.

  9. Azia May 22, 2011 at 10:21 pm #

    Basically, this is Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock.
    Already done, just different names.

  10. Mark A. Rayner May 23, 2011 at 10:58 am #

    And much lamer 馃槈

  11. paul warren July 25, 2011 at 1:25 am #

    this is just more “ninja > pirate” propaganda

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