Ask General Kang: When is it okay to call someone to a Nazi?

Ask General KangI suppose it’s not a problem if the person is a Nazi, but I can’t think of a lot of other circumstances where it would be helpful.

Presumably, you’re doing so to damage their reputation in some way, but consider this: if the person is a Nazi, either because they are still somehow a card-carrying member of the National Socialist party, or because they sympathize and wish they could go back in time to join the party, then perhaps they might not be insulted by you’re calling them a Nazi.

I mean, you can call me a diminutive simian intergalactic overlord and I won’t get upset.

If you want to damage their reputation, there are much better ways of doing so. For example, pick on a quirk of their personality or appearance and make an insulting allusion. When I was taking over on Neecknaw (my home world) I faced a number of political opponents, and this was always a successful tactic. Here are a few insults you could try:

  • compare their sexual habits to those of a Blufnistian slug trollop
  • question their patriotism and personal hygiene by asking if they’re descended from a long line of feces-stained Quisling birds
  • wonder if they are mentally deficient by stating they couldn’t pour liquid waste out of Flimdian super-boot, even if there were instructions written on the heel.

Or you could always call them a racist. That ALWAYS works.

Next time: My particle accelerator is refusing to toast my Pop-Tart: does this mean its becoming artificially intelligent?

Alltop had to move to Argentina. Originally published, Feb.2009. Now appearing in Pirate Therapy and Other Cures.

3 thoughts on “Ask General Kang: When is it okay to call someone to a Nazi?

  1. I’m all for calling people nazis… I do it at least four times a day. Unless they are actually nazis, then I tend to call them bastards.