Ad hominem rules for writing

old-fashioned typewriter hammers

  1. drooling pinheads open their stories with the weather, or a prologue
  2. the passive voice is used by fatuous knobs
  3. corpulent prose-pederasts use a verb other than “said” to carry dialog
  4. (and only a complete asshole would use an adverb to modify “said”)
  5. total wankers use parenthesis
  6. pedantic drudges use jargon instead of everyday English words
  7. mindless hacks and cheese-eaters use clichés
  8. vacuous scribblers and moral degenerates have a “style”
  9. only a massive wanker writes for any other reason than love
  10. self-important plodders have rules
Alltop writes for the laughs, which is a form of love, surely? Bonus points if you can spot the rules broken in this post! Old timey typewriter by César Esparza Bertuline.

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