1. drooling pinheads open their stories with the weather, or a prologue
2. fatuous knobs use the passive voice
3. corpulent prose-pederasts use a verb other than “said” to carry dialog
4. (and only a complete asshole would use an adverb to modify “said”)
5. pedantic skull-fuckers use jargon instead of everyday English words
6. mindless hacks and cheese-eaters use clichés
7. vacuous scribblers and moral degenerates have a “style”
8. only a massive wanker writes for any other reason than love
9. self-important plodders have rules

Alltop writes for the laughs, which is a form of love, surely? Bonus points if you can spot the rules broken in this post! Old timey typewriter by Darwin Bell.