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Ask General Kang: What’s the best method for electing your leader?

Ask General KangAh, not this again! You humans and your obsession with “elections” and “democracy.”

It’s an illusion, just like free will.

You’ve already decided who you’re going to vote for, and no amount of “though process” is going to change your mind. You’re only justifying it. That’s the illusory nature of free will at work. You feel like you have a choice, but really, you’re just programmed by a huge number of things: your genetic makeup, how you were raised, where you were born, and what socio-economic group your family belongs to.

That’s not true. I can always change my mind!

No, it just feels like you can change your mind. It’s all part of the same illusion.

Now, I’m not saying that your life is meaningless because of this. You still can accomplish things … for example, you could building a new shed. That takes work. And knowhow. And the materials. Now, you have to buy the materials, and the knowledge you need to build that shed is either something you have, or something you don’t, but if you want to build it yourself, you can learn those skills. So you do, and then you build the shed. Well done!

But the idea of the shed, the notion that you needed it in the first place. Did you choose to build it? No, there were a huge number of conditions (genetics, upbringing, etc) in place that made you want it. You didn’t choose to want the shed. You just wanted it, and then perhaps created a list of reason why you wanted it to explain your want.

So what’s the point?

There is no point! That’s why it’s always best to let an Intergalactic Warlord make the decisions for you!

Ok.

Excellent. Now we just need to get some kind of world-government started and get me on the ballot. (But of course I want this, because, hey, I was born an Intergalactic Warlord.)

Next time: How do I stop my smart phone from becoming self-aware and making me late for all my appointments?