Ask General Kang: Did I miss anything important in class yesterday?

Ask General KangHow the hell would I know? I don’t even know what kind of class you’re taking! I do have a couple of ideas, though, if you should be worried about the class you missed yesterday, which I think is what you’re really asking. It’s kind of a self-assessment questionnaire, based on the idea that this is a university or college class you missed:

Does your professor know your name? Yes or no?

If she knows your name then she probably noticed you weren’t in class yesterday. On the plus side, if she knows your name, so she might be inclined to listen to any kind of excuse you have for missing the class. Maybe she doesn’t care. Maybe she’s easily fooled! Be careful though, my professor in arse-elbow differentiation was really strict. If anyone missed a class they were ritually humiliated in some way (he liked to make his victims wear a dunce cap and dance a little soft shoe at the break time.) That was for the first class missed. If you missed a second class he made you clean his basement, and you should know that he kept Tordalian Feces Birds down there. Third class? You were forced to drop the course and the university administration harvested part of your liver for ongoing experimentation.

On the other hand, if she doesn’t know your name, then you may be in the clear and you can continue to abuse your liver with beer and Jager shots.

But did I miss something?

I don’t know. How many classes have you gone to where NO material has been covered? Odds are you missed something.

Yes, but was it important?

[Sigh.]

No, you’re probably okay. You probably just missed one of those “filler” classes.

Next time: How do I improve my GPA if the Soul-Rending Netherbeast of Sigma Six just ate my homework (and my lab-partner’s brain)?

Alltop always does its homework!

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