The Guardian had a wonderfully entertaining collection of rules from various writers on Saturday.

Many are prescriptive, and so, are useless. But many are quite helpful and charming bits of advice for writing fiction and living. Here are a few of my faves, but you can find the full list at The Guardian.

1. “Do not place a photograph of your ­favourite author on your desk, especially if the author is one of the famous ones who committed suicide.” –Roddy Doyle
2. “Have regrets. They are fuel. On the page they flare into desire.” –Geoff Dyer
3. “Imagine that you are dying. If you had a terminal disease would you ­finish this book? Why not? The thing that annoys this 10-weeks-to-live self is the thing that is wrong with the book. So change it. Stop arguing with yourself. Change it. See? Easy. And no one had to die.” –Anne Enright
4. “You can also do all that with whiskey.” –Anne Enright
5. “Try to think of others’ good luck as encouragement to yourself.” –Richard Ford
6. “It’s doubtful that anyone with an internet connection at his workplace is writing good fiction.” –Jonathan Franzen
7. “Keep in mind Oscar Wilde: ‘A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.’” –Joyce Carol Oates
8. “You know that sickening feeling of inadequacy and over-exposure you feel when you look upon your own empurpled prose? Relax into the awareness that this ghastly sensation will never, ever leave you, no matter how successful and publicly lauded you become. It is intrinsic to the real business of writing and should be cherished.” –Will Self
9. “If you have to read, to cheer yourself up read biographies of writers who went insane.” –Colm Tóibín
10. “Write.” –Neil Gaiman

Another nice review, this one from Phronk.com.

The monkey-related theme was a concern to the reviewer, but it seems the novel managed to bridge the monkeys funny/monkeys never funny divide:

Let me make a confession: I don’t find monkeys inherently funny. Their similarity to humans is amusing, sure, but it’s been overdone. Given the premise of Marvellous Hairy, I was a bit worried that its humour would rely on “anything is funny if you mention the word monkey alongside it” school of thought. Luckily, its absurdity is only partially monkey-based, and it delivers some genuine funny. Many scenes had me smirking as hard as I have at any Douglas Adams novel (yeah, just smirking; it takes a lot for me to physically LOL at text).

You can find the full review here. You may also be interested in Phronk’s infamous side project: “Putting Weird Things Into Coffee”.

But they would be wrong!

Hilarious skit about what you can do with a room full of evil monkeys from the Kids in the Hall. Thanks to Shelf Monkey for pointing this one out:

You can find it at youtube too, if the embedded video doesn’t work.

Betty L. Dravis, author of Dream Reachers, and an Amazon Top 1000 Reviewer loved Marvellous Hairy, to judge by her review. She says:

“All in all, this is a hilarious romp that comes to a screeching halt with a satisfactory ending. Marvellous Hairy is a well-written book with an original plot and great bursts of humor and action.”

She rightly points out:

“Since the author, Mark A. Rayner, took the title from “A Midsummer Night’s Dream,” it would have to be pretty good…or risk the wrath of Shakespeare’s fans around the globe.”

And yes, I was worried about messing with such a volatile title, but it was just so perfect!

You can find the full review here.

This is not the same thing as having a lobotomy, though I imagine they are both somewhat disorienting experiences. The creative, funny, and dare I say paranoid genius at Predator Press was kind enough to interview me about Marvellous Hairy and The Amadeus Net, though LOBO was considerate enough to ask me about hockey, the existence of Canada, and inter-species romance as well.

The results can be found at Predator Press, and include such exchanges as:

LOBO: Have you repented to your clergy for all the sex in The Amadeus Net yet? I tried to get my penance reduced by ratting you out about it, but the church was skeptical: rather than take my word for it, they ordered a case of the books to be distributed among the congregation for review. Now they are all blind, and their palms smell like Gillette. All of this could have been avoided with the simple use of a praying mantis. Are you an atheist Mark?

MAR: If you mean, do I believe in a “Magic Sky Father”, then yes. If you mean, do you believe in a “Cosmic Unconscious Fun Monkey,” then the answer is: maybe.

The whole interview is here. And you should check out the blog — it’s very funny.