Forget rock-paper-scissors, I’m playing monkey-pirate-robot-ninja-zombie!

Posted by Mark A. Rayner on June 22, 2010
Monkeys!

Why play rock-paper-scissors, or lame versions, when you can experience the awesomeness of monkey-pirate-robot-ninja-zombie?

Why play such a simple game, when you can play monkey-pirate-zombie-robot-ninja? The only way this could be more accurate? Robot beats everything!

Now, you can find the hand signals for the game here. Get the t-shirt at Cafe Press

Alltop decapitates Zombie. Thanks to Swirlee for the idea. Originally published in March, 2009.

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21 Comments to Forget rock-paper-scissors, I’m playing monkey-pirate-robot-ninja-zombie!

Alex L.
March 25, 2009

Monkey fools ninja… ok I can accept that, what are the hand signals for each of these

Mark A. Rayner
March 27, 2009

See the answer above! Excellent question!

Harold
November 23, 2009

I heart everyone here! You are all heroes!!!!!!! Oh my goodness this game changed my life! <3 ;) !!!! Love you all!

fovika
December 3, 2009

I’m going to put some hand signals on this, not I do not own…blah blah blah…
okay?

flat hand palm down = zombie
flat hand palm up = monkey
fist = pirate
fist with thumb up = robot
siccors = ninja

Kiwi
January 8, 2010

Hmmm, the pirate would never fall before a ninja… And they kept Monkeys as pets, therefore lower their guard with them. I will reverse the pirate/ninja/monkey cycle :)

Mark A. Rayner
February 15, 2010

Whatever works for you!

Brundall525
February 20, 2010

Maybe someday, I would turn that into a game show in the future.

P.S.: NO ONE can make a show with a game but ME!!!

Festesio
March 22, 2010

Plunders > Skewers

Sanchises
April 8, 2010

I suppose the point is not making hand gestures, but actually ACT like a ninja/robot/whatever. That will make the game a lot of fun ^^

Blakeh boy
April 20, 2010

let’s get this straight… monkeys (pre-human) can fool a ninja? (super human) i mean cmon, lets be realistic, nothing can kill a ninja, definately not a pirate >.>

ninjas > pirates any day

Cedestra
May 11, 2010

First thing I looked for was “how does a robot beat everything?”. Pirate drowns robot? Maybe, but first he must enact the old Kirk-robot introverted fallacy trick (“I never lie.” “He never lies.”), render the robot useless, then kick it into the ocean. Would the average pirate have the intelligence required to perform such a marvel in philosophy?

Liz
June 18, 2010

Cedestra: “Would the average pirate have the intelligence required to perform such a marvel in philosophy?”

Of course not. But you forget, Pirates cheat. A lot. And any good pirate knows that metal rusts, since they’ve all seen what happens to a sword left on deck unsheathed. Ergo, Pirate throws rum in Robot’s face, short-circuiting Robot, and THEN kicks Robot overboard.

JSin
June 19, 2010

This is aside from the fact that Ninjas are scared little pussys. Pirates will always and have always plundered and destroyed Ninjas. Now the monkeys could be argued as an issue for pirates. The whole trust thing, then gain I never trust a monkey, they are like Crack Whores.

JSin

BlingoBlango
June 19, 2010

You’re forgetting about vampires and werewolves.

Mark A. Rayner
June 19, 2010

Love the creative thinking, but I’m not sure I can keep five in my head, let alone seven.

Roi Des Coeurs
June 21, 2010

Ninja (according to some) may be pussies, which I guess you say because they are secretive assassins for hire that butcher people in the darkness… wait, does that make them pussies? If anything, pirates get week and feeble from being out in the ocean for way too long and can’t really fight at maximum capacity as Ninja are trained to do.
And ninja butcher their hits. Not just one slice, BUTCHER

WHOREDERVING
June 22, 2010

Ninja way: If you can flee, flee. Enough glamorizing. Pirates were villainous outlaws with no morals, ninja were survivalists on the run from samurai. Their notoriety for stealth tactics came simply from the fact that they always ran away whenever possible, leading people to believe that they could vanish and appear at will.

[...] version of rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from the schematic below, each thing can beat two other things, and is, in turn beaten by two other [...]

Theo
August 6, 2010

LOLOL!!!111!!! Monkeys pirates and ninjas!!! XDXDXD sooooo random!

ltguide
August 9, 2010

My friends and I tried to play this game, but all that happened is we summoned the devil.

Mark A. Rayner
August 10, 2010

Hah!

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