Forget rock-paper-scissors, I’m playing monkey-pirate-robot-ninja-zombie!

Why play rock-paper-scissors, or lame versions, when you can experience the awesomeness of monkey-pirate-robot-ninja-zombie?

Why play such a simple game, when you can play monkey-pirate-zombie-robot-ninja? The only way this could be more accurate? Robot beats everything!

Now, you can find the hand signals for the game here. Get the t-shirt at Cafe Press

Alltop decapitates Zombie. Thanks to Swirlee for the idea. Originally published in March, 2009.

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21 Responses to Forget rock-paper-scissors, I’m playing monkey-pirate-robot-ninja-zombie!

  1. Alex L. March 25, 2009 at 11:14 pm #

    Monkey fools ninja… ok I can accept that, what are the hand signals for each of these

  2. Mark A. Rayner March 27, 2009 at 5:01 pm #

    See the answer above! Excellent question!

  3. Harold November 23, 2009 at 1:52 pm #

    I heart everyone here! You are all heroes!!!!!!! Oh my goodness this game changed my life! <3 ;)!!!! Love you all!

  4. fovika December 3, 2009 at 7:44 pm #

    I’m going to put some hand signals on this, not I do not own…blah blah blah…

    flat hand palm down = zombie
    flat hand palm up = monkey
    fist = pirate
    fist with thumb up = robot
    siccors = ninja

  5. Kiwi January 8, 2010 at 11:44 am #

    Hmmm, the pirate would never fall before a ninja… And they kept Monkeys as pets, therefore lower their guard with them. I will reverse the pirate/ninja/monkey cycle 🙂

  6. Mark A. Rayner February 15, 2010 at 12:54 pm #

    Whatever works for you!

  7. Brundall525 February 20, 2010 at 8:34 pm #

    Maybe someday, I would turn that into a game show in the future.

    P.S.: NO ONE can make a show with a game but ME!!!

  8. Festesio March 22, 2010 at 2:12 am #

    Plunders > Skewers

  9. Sanchises April 8, 2010 at 3:59 pm #

    I suppose the point is not making hand gestures, but actually ACT like a ninja/robot/whatever. That will make the game a lot of fun ^^

  10. Blakeh boy April 20, 2010 at 7:26 pm #

    let’s get this straight… monkeys (pre-human) can fool a ninja? (super human) i mean cmon, lets be realistic, nothing can kill a ninja, definately not a pirate >.>

    ninjas > pirates any day

  11. Cedestra May 11, 2010 at 3:44 am #

    First thing I looked for was “how does a robot beat everything?”. Pirate drowns robot? Maybe, but first he must enact the old Kirk-robot introverted fallacy trick (“I never lie.” “He never lies.”), render the robot useless, then kick it into the ocean. Would the average pirate have the intelligence required to perform such a marvel in philosophy?

  12. Liz June 18, 2010 at 3:29 am #

    Cedestra: “Would the average pirate have the intelligence required to perform such a marvel in philosophy?”

    Of course not. But you forget, Pirates cheat. A lot. And any good pirate knows that metal rusts, since they’ve all seen what happens to a sword left on deck unsheathed. Ergo, Pirate throws rum in Robot’s face, short-circuiting Robot, and THEN kicks Robot overboard.

  13. JSin June 19, 2010 at 5:51 am #

    This is aside from the fact that Ninjas are scared little pussys. Pirates will always and have always plundered and destroyed Ninjas. Now the monkeys could be argued as an issue for pirates. The whole trust thing, then gain I never trust a monkey, they are like Crack Whores.


  14. BlingoBlango June 19, 2010 at 11:03 am #

    You’re forgetting about vampires and werewolves.

  15. Mark A. Rayner June 19, 2010 at 8:08 pm #

    Love the creative thinking, but I’m not sure I can keep five in my head, let alone seven.

  16. Roi Des Coeurs June 21, 2010 at 4:47 am #

    Ninja (according to some) may be pussies, which I guess you say because they are secretive assassins for hire that butcher people in the darkness… wait, does that make them pussies? If anything, pirates get week and feeble from being out in the ocean for way too long and can’t really fight at maximum capacity as Ninja are trained to do.
    And ninja butcher their hits. Not just one slice, BUTCHER

  17. WHOREDERVING June 22, 2010 at 12:47 am #

    Ninja way: If you can flee, flee. Enough glamorizing. Pirates were villainous outlaws with no morals, ninja were survivalists on the run from samurai. Their notoriety for stealth tactics came simply from the fact that they always ran away whenever possible, leading people to believe that they could vanish and appear at will.

  18. Theo August 6, 2010 at 2:29 pm #

    LOLOL!!!111!!! Monkeys pirates and ninjas!!! XDXDXD sooooo random!

  19. ltguide August 9, 2010 at 11:26 pm #

    My friends and I tried to play this game, but all that happened is we summoned the devil.

  20. Mark A. Rayner August 10, 2010 at 8:04 am #



  1. mark a. rayner --> scribblings, squibs & sundry monkey joys: » Blog Archive » How to Play Monkey-Robot-Pirate-Ninja-Zombie - June 24, 2010

    […] version of rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from the schematic below, each thing can beat two other things, and is, in turn beaten by two other […]