Ask General Kang: Would you describe yourself as a fascist?

Ask General KangWhat kind of question is that? What kind of nut-job describes themselves as a fascist, even if they are? (I mean, apart from the original Fascists, who were definitely a few bananas short of a bunch.)

Actually, I would describe myself as a committed proponent of democracy — when I’m not in power, that is, heh, heh.

Seriously, if you want to take over and become the Supreme Ruling Chimp (and you don’t have an intergalactic war fleet brimming with angry gorilloids wearing high-impact body armor and fezzes) you need to be able to manipulate an election or two.

So you are a fascist.

No, I’m an intergalactic conqueror and advice columnist. Some day, I may become a Great Leader who will save the frustrated middle class from a nebulous group of “others”, which is somehow inferior to us regular chimps and yet, powerful enough to control our society and oppress us. Yah, I am your bow-legged monkey savior!

Next time: I’ve just spilled really hot coffee in my lap — is this what they mean by “global warming”? and Alltop are two of the essential bananas in my bunch.

2 Responses to Ask General Kang: Would you describe yourself as a fascist?

  1. Alex L. June 26, 2008 at 2:49 am #

    ‘I’m an intergalactic conqueror and advice columnist.’

    Its such a good combination of skill sets isn’t it.

  2. Mark A. Rayner June 26, 2008 at 9:06 am #

    You wouldn’t think so, but Gen. Kang seems to be able to swing it. 🙂 m.