At the Skywalker Ranch, there was always a long lineup for the Princess Leia Ride, even when Stacy and her “Umbrella of Truth” was working it.
Toulouse Le Grandfig
The non-educated delinquents (NEDs) of Narnia started acting like asses long before their transformation began.
Upside: this was actually an improvement and made them attractive to some women.
Downside: no place to hide a chib.
Alltop will slash ye’. schemie-centaurs, originally uploaded by kirsty.whiten.
As a form of travel, giant soap bubble is suited to Buddhist monks, toddlers, and whimsical characters from children’s stories.
It is not recommended for 60-year-old podiatrists with catastrophic waxy ear buildup and the inability to stand on a skein of soap and magic.
You certainly can’t hope to use a lawn chair. And if you wear socks with sandals you probably deserve to fall to your death anyway.
Alltop prefers glass elevators. Photo by h. kopdelaney.
Even when he was presented with evidence in the form of a somewhat amusing Belgian postcard, Claude refused to understand why no one took him seriously.
Alltop likes gourd.
“Hi there Jeremy, you’re on the air.”
“Hi Sue. Long-time listener, first-time caller. I’m a big fan.”
“Thanks Jeremy, what did you want to talk about?”
“What if she’s not into your face?”
“In what way? Kissing?”
“No, like sitting on it in a way that she delivers up her everlasting soul to the Old One.”
“Jeremy, you’re making me hot just talking about it, so I suggest that you do the same with your girlfriend.”
“I will, Sue. Wait for my visit.”
[sound of static, embedded within it: the wail of a nameless dread]
Alltop finds nameless dread relaxing. 022 Cthulu, originally uploaded by dracorubio.
In times like these, you may believe that all is well. You may enjoy watching the Olympics, eating spam, or perhaps you have many Norwegian friends.
You may have the feeling that we live in the best of possible worlds. Given the possibilities, the vagaries of quantum mechanics, perhaps, you think to yourself, everything is right in the world.
These are reassuring fictions.
These fictions are propagated by a large number of clandestine groups, which run the affairs of the world from hidden bunkers, boardrooms, churches, and your medulla oblongata.
But not the Masons.
Alltop knows the secret handshake. Eyecatcher, originally uploaded by Robbert van der Steeg.
The party got out of hand roughly the same time Professor Lunchbender decided to create the “ultimate” knob robot.
Of course, you had to admire any affaire that required the services of the National Guard, even if they were unsuccessful and preventing an uncomfortably phallic technological singularity.
Bob (pictured in front) had at least died happy man.
Alltop believes teledilldonics is myth.
Tolbert Whistlebaum had a deep and abiding love for the English language, which is why he took a doctorate at Oxfjord University, concentrating on Naughty Victorian Literature.
His scholarship was insufficient to cover his tuition and his love affair with first edition copies of Richard Burton’s translation of the Kama Sutra (eventually they became unreadable), so he took on a copy-editing job with the marketing division of Gargantuan Enterprises. His boss was a lovely and exciting woman, but she did nothing to stop the linguistic excrescences that his co-workers produced on a daily basis.
He is pictured here, shortly before he did a little “rightsizing” at the company through a new “aggressive interface paradigm.”
Everyone agreed — including the judge — that his presentation was quite “impactful”.
Alltop is constantly monetizing their outside-the-box thinking, and moving forward too.
To those of us covering the games as journalists, he was known simply as The Slovakian, but to the many athletes who depended on his expertise, he was much, much more than a name.
He was a prickly taskmaster. He bristled whenever an athlete did not make the most of his talents. His sense of humor and pride were best described as ticklish.
And for anyone hoping to win gold, his training regimen was indispensable.
He was the greatest whisker coach of the Beard Olympics.
Alltop enjoys a little facial fungus. Awesome photo by zamario.
If you happen to live on one of the many planets inhabited by CEOs, you may find yourself wondering: “how do I not get eaten?”
You may also wonder if there is sunblock powerful enough to prevent dermal incineration when lanced by particle beams. (There isn’t.)
However, have you considered living underground? All you need is a pipe for air, a small amount of water, and vitamin supplements to augment your diet of worms and other burrowing creatures.
Of course, you will also need enough time to dig a hole — these inhabitants of Neebie-neebie waited until a large pack of CEOs descended on a nearby city, enslaving and devouring the hapless and (dare we say) ill-prepared tiny and polite humans. While this carnage was underway, they had lots of time to build their holes, and even a few tunnels between them, so they might breed more tiny and polite humans.
Ah, the circle of life!
