This fan-made video is a brilliant adaptation of Weird Al’s “The Night Santa Went Crazy”.
You may also find some crazy at alltop.com.
The Night Santa Went Crazy
Archive | Parody & Satire
Trooper Jinglo at home
Every time he thought about the Death Star, and how he was supposed to be on duty that day, Trooper Jinglo just needed to cuddle with his dog.
More pics and cutlines like this at Monkeyjoys (my Tumblr blog).
Alltop was supposed to be cleaning out the garbage containers, but got held up at the Senate. Stormtrooper by Anthony Georgis on Flickr.
Jesus visits the Denver Broncos
I’ve been without TV for the last three months, so I haven’t witnessed all the miracles Jesus has performed on behalf of the Denver Broncos and Tim Tebow, but I do remember the Elway years…
Alltop knew Mormonism was all real!
Betsy of Narnia Reveals the Ugly Truth
‘Allo, dearie, I suppose you’d like to hear all about your hero Aslan and those Pevensie folk, but you don’t want to hear it from the likes of me.
You want to talk to Edmund’s horse Phillip or p’raps those Beavers (desperate suck-ups the Beavers). They’ll tell you want you want to hear.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I was not a fan of that bitch queen at all. Not at all. Us Jersey cows are not made for the cold, and the White Witch had the thermostat turned down all the time, but at least when she was running things, me and the other ladies were more or less left to my own devices.
But since the Pevensies have taken over the establishment, it has been nothing but toil for the likes of me. I get milked at least once a day, usually by that pervert Mr. Tumnus.
(Would it surprise you know that he always has a slurp of me longer teat before milks t’others? He bites a bit too.)
And don’t get me started on General Otman. You’d think a famous centaur like that would have his choice of lady centaurs, and even horses, ‘fer Christ’s sake, but he has a taste for the Jersey, if you get me meanin’.
But it’s not so much the milking and unwanted attention. It’s what happens to the young ‘uns, the male young ‘uns.
It’s not like that Christmas roast just magically appears, you see.
Alltop never did trust that Mr. Tumnus. Photo by normanack. Originally published in 2005!
Sad Spaceman Sighs
Alltop can hear laughter, even in space.
Ask General Kang: Do you have Santa Claus on your home planet?
No, we didn’t have Santa Claus when I was growing up. We didn’t have Christmas. Heck, we didn’t even have your primitive paleo-brain concept of religion.
We did have the concept of gift-giving, and something we called Consumer Day, when we tried to boost our Neecknabian economy and give gifts. And we did have a folk tradition similar to your jolly Saint Nick. We called him Troglor the Consumer, and if you didn’t buy at least a thousand pargnags (that’s roughly $700 US in the current exchange rate) in gifts, then you were put on the “naughty” list.
Now, in your ridiculously soft human custom, getting on the “naughty” list means no more than receiving a lump of coal in your stocking, or at worst, having some dude dressed up as the devil coming to your house to scare you.
Troglor was not so innocuous. If you got on the “naughty” list, you didn’t find yourself invited to sexy parties, oh no, you found yourself in receipt of a shitload of hurt. Most of the time you would find yourself auctioned off — organ by organ — to the highest bidder at the yearly “Boxing Off” Day sale. Sometimes, if you were really bad, he’d just put a Neecknabian Rectal Weasel in your bed before Consumer Morning.
Nasty.
I always gave at least 1200 pargnags worth of gifts, just to be on the safe side.