A pirate-themed Carnival of Comedy, hosted at The Right Hand of God.
Some funny links, but someone needs to tell them that pirates use cutlasses, not sabers. Definitely check out Prof. Stephen Hawking on “remembering Scotty“.
Archive for July, 2005
- Whether Gary Trudeau should have used the Bush “Turd Blossom†nickname for Carl Rove in his column
- If the President of the United States should flip the media the bird
- The President of the United States
- The media
- The United States
- The concept of countries
- The left
- The right
- Who the hell Ciara is
- Whether you wrote a blog entry today
Still in the sharing mood today.
If you like cartoons, then you’ll like this. If you think hypertext storytelling is completely impenetrable and confusing, then this will also be your thing. For my money, this is the most enjoyable hypertext I’ve ever experienced — even better than those “choose your own adventure” books I read when I was a kid.
Escape from friend zone
There’s a bit more postive news on the review front. There’s a critique of my novel, The Amadeus Net, that I’d like to point regular Skwib readers to today.
Stone Junction is one of Amazon’s top reviewers, and he’s written quite a thoughtful piece about the novel. You can find it here. [You'll need to scroll down a little bit.] Of course, I might be biased because he compares me with both Philip K. Dick and Tom Robbins — two of my favourite authors.
I’ve actually been updating my news & reviews page on a regular basis, and you can find all the latest about The Amadeus Net there. And of course, you can buy a copy directly from ENC Press here.
Do women have a special sixth sense that lets them know when a man — any man — is scoping out babes? I believe they do, and I believe The Columnist Manifesto has the goods.
Now, if only men could come up with some kind of stealth eyeball technology . . .
Jeremy Butler, venture capitalist and shallow bastard, was ready for his next foray into the dating world. He’d read the latest studies, and he had a strategy.
Instead of giving lavish gifts that had material value (diamond bracelets, sports cars, fur coats and the like) he was going to spend on ‘worthless’ experiences.
He was still going to be classy. Jeremy had lots of money to blow, and he was going to blow it. But on experiences — opera, exclusive clubs, gourmet dinners — not on things.
The mathematicians had it all figured out. From their study, they showed that gold-diggers would not stick around for experiences. They would only stay for things.
That night he went out with Suziku, a cute Japanese woman who worked for Sony. It went splendidly. She was engaged by his exciting tales of venture capitalism. He adored her demure nature and lack of interest in drinking expensive champagne. In fact, Suziku didn’t eat anything.
They arranged to go out again, and Jeremy was thrilled, at least as thrilled as his shallow soul would allow.
On the next date, he took her to the opera, and he was surprised to discover that in addition to speaking Japanese and English, she was also fluent in Italian. In fact, she translated for him, whispering in his ear at such a low level that only he could hear. Continue reading…
It was hot at the Way with Words Festival in Britain yesterday. Hot enough to pay $100,000 CAN for a bottle of water?
No, but hot enough to steal. According to the BBC:
A thirsty thief is being blamed for downing a bottle of water, valued at £42,500, at a literary festival.
The “art” was two liters of water, taken from glacial runoff from the Antarctic, and was intended to highlight the issue of global warming, says the “artist” Wayne Hill.
This global warming thing is a serious issue, but seeing as this was a literary festival, perhaps the “thief” was an artist himself, and was trying to engage the “artist” in a bit of environmental irony.
BTW, the “value” of the artwork, is the “artist’s” estimate, based on a percentage of the damage of the entire western Antarctic ice sheet melting.
BBC Story
This week’s Carnival of the Vanities #149 is now up at Pratie Place.
OTTAWA — A small group from Canada’s influential inukshuk industry is staging a sit-in on Parliament Hill, demanding that Prime Minister Paul Martin bring Brian Tobin back to cabinet.
“He’s the only one who can save Hans Island!” their spokesperson, Carla Flintstone shouted.
Hans Island is at the center of a diplomatic dispute between Canada and Denmark. Both countries claim the barren, desolate, frigid, uninhabited rock in the high arctic.
Last week, Defence Minister Bill Graham was dispatched to Hans Island to land on the island and eat a ham sandwich to establish Canada’s sovereignty over the island.
Not to be outdone, the Danish Minister of Nudity Arvid Funkberg has been sent to Hans Island to eat a meal of sild — half rotted herring. He will wash this down with an incredibly warm bottle of Skipsol, Denmark’s famously weak, resin-flavoured beer.
“Graham is a pussy!” Flintstone shouted hysterically. “The only one who can save us is Brian Tobin.”
Tobin is best known for his role in the 1995 Turbot War between Canada and the European Union. Then Minister of Fisheries and Oceans, Tobin used “extra-territorial” force to seize a Spanish ship that was fishing illegally in Canadian waters.
Hans Island is home to more than .0001 percent of Canada’s inukshuks.
In commemoration of DeGaulle’s visit to Canada, and what he said on July 24, 1967:
DeGaulle Shows Diplomatic Side (slide 3)
- Nice to be here in Canada
- Thanks to Prime Minister for inviting me
- Vive le Québec Libre!
PM Lester Pearson and the Undiplomatic “Get the Hell Out of Canada” Presentation (slide 2)
- Fought to liberate France in First World War
- Won Nobel Peace Prize
- Canada does not need to be liberated, dink.
Anniversary of DeGalle’s “faux pas” (July 24)
