El Capitan at Baboon Pirates does an excellent job hosting the Carnival of the Vanities this week, and there is a hairball of funny available at the Conservative Cat this morning too.
Archive | October, 2005
Tuesday o-rama!
The most recent Storyblogging Carnival is up at Back of the Envelope. There are some nifty short stories there, including the Sad Story of Princess Helga. (I have a weakness for fairy tales, though I think the tale may be mis-titled.)
The Carnival of Liberty is also available now at Eric’s Grumbles Before the Grave.
And it wouldn’t be an O-Rama, if we didn’t feature something else, so here is where you can learn to build your own Dalek. Totally pointless, though I know James will like it.
Europe fears a furry blitzkrieg
KASSEL, Germany (The Skwib) — Nazi raccoons have swept through the German woodlands like so many divisions of panzers, and now, they have started taking over the cities.
“Yes, they were introduced by Hermann Göring in the 30s, and have laid low until now,” Burkhard Kuester, Deputy Minister of Natural Resources and Tourism (MNRT) told The Skwib. “But they have started to take over our cities. Kassel is theirs, and Frankfurt will be next.”
Despite efforts to control the jackbooted pests, their numbers have grown, possibly because of support from many Germans.
“We think the raccoons are just great. I mean, they’re cute, and I like their moxy,” Heinrich Fuchs said, visiting Kassel for the first Raccoon Rally planned by the National Raccoon party. “I hope they do take over Frankfurt next. They have promised to sort out our problem with other pests, and I for one welcome it.”
Other residents of Frankfurt are not as sanguine about the possibility of swarms of swastika-bedecked Procyon lotor eating their garbage and ruling all of Europe.
“I remember the 30s,” pensioner Ingeborg Baader and longtime resident of Kassel said. “We missed our chance in Kassel, but the rest of the country should fight them while they can.”
It may already be too late. Hundreds of thousands of the bandit-faced carnivores have been spotted in Luxembourg, Belgium, France and the Czech Republic.
Inspired by:
Nazi Raccoons on the March in Europe
The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Age of the Universe Edition)
In 17th century, James Ussher (Primate of Ireland) presents: 6000 years, give or take (slide 2)
- So, first day of Creation was October 23, 4004 BC.
- That means Great Flood was 2348 BC.
- If only we could get this included in King James version of the Bible, then everyone would know it.
In pre-Columbian Palenque, Jerry the Shaman presents the sacred text “Popol Vuh” (slide 13)
- Earth created or August 13, 3114 BC (long count: 13.0.0.0.0)
- Next time long count is at 13.0.0.0.0 is Dec. 21, 2012
- Don’t worry, that’s a Bactun; the end of universe is October 13, 4772.
In 1927, Jesuit priest Georges Lemaître presents Le Grand Boom-Boom (slide 3)
- derived the Friedmann-Lemaître-Robertson-Walker equations
- the recession of spiral nebulae shows the universe began with the “explosion” of a “primeval atom”
- therefore Le Grand Boom-Boom.
Alternate History Fridays: After Nelson
Captain Vernon Hawser studied his charts in the grand cabin of his ship, The Endurance, and wondered if he would ever have the chance to be a hero the way Lord Neslon had been.
After Vice-Admiral Calder’s disaster at Trafalgar (20 ships-of-the-line sunk or captured when he lost the weather gage to Villeneuve’s fleet) it had been up to his hero. Lord Nelson, his ship the HMS Victory, and a stripped down squadron of 11 other ships managed to prevent Napoleon’s invasion of England.
Nelson’s brilliance had saved England at the Battle of Portland, savaging Villeneuve’s fleet, and turning the invasion force back to the Continent. A great victory. And a close one too.
Hawser had a thought. What if Nelson’s ship hadn’t been damaged in the early hurricane in the Caribbean? What if he’d been in command at Trafalgar, with a much bigger fleet than at Portland. That would have been a rum thing!
His executive officer knocked and came in his cabin, “the Ambassador has arrived, Captain. Would you like to show him on board?” Continue Reading →
Mr. Sun has a new thing
Not that kind of thing. He’s started Mockr — I’m sure he’s in the midst of getting it trademarked — using the power of Flickr to spoof news photos.