The Skwib has been nominated for a “Best So Far” award in the humor category. You can check out the awards here. It’s just an honor to be nominated…
And we participated in our first-ever God or Not? Carnival, hosted by The Uncredible Hallq. It’s an interesting one.
A few fictions are available at the the Storyblogging Carnival at Back of the Envelope. I enjoyed the slightly demented nature of Not Being.
You’ll also find the Best of Me Symphony today, at the Owner’s Manual.
OTTAWA (The Skwib) — In a media conference this morning, Prime Minister Stephen Harper surprised pundits and announced that his first order of business would be to give the Canadian high-tech and brewing industries special tax breaks.
“We must close the beer-robot gap as quickly as possible,” Harper told the assembled reporters.
When asked why this was in any way important, Harper produced the Japanese brewer Asahi’s new beer-pouring robot, “Mr. Happy Fun Drinking Device”. The robot opened a beer and poured it into a glass.
Harper did not drink the beer, but instead left it on the stage floor, near the front, where The Skwib reporter was sitting.
“It’s vital that Canada maintain a strong presence in the beer-robot industry, indeed, the entire high-tech alcoholic beverage industry,” Harper said. “We’ve also heard of Austrian robots that can mix a good margarita.”
When asked if he didn’t already have enough to worry about, forming a cabinet, delivering on campaign promises, and so on, Harper said the new tax break may actually help with some of the other problems facing the young government.
“Yes, there are incentives to make these new beer-robots multifunctional. If anyone in the aerospace industry can make these fly, and patrol the Canadian artic, then we’ll really have something.”
He said that loaded with Canadian beer, this kind of robot would be excellent at deterring the American navy from encroaching on Canadian artic sovereignty.
“A few large-sized Canadian beers should be enough to disrupt most operations on any American sub,” Harper said, adding that it is well-known most American beer is “like having conjugal relations in a canoe.”
Mr. Harper ignored The Skwib when we asked if Mr. Happy Fun Drinking Device had any peanuts to go with the beer.
Inspired by:
Asahi’s beer-serving robot
Mr. Snitch found a fascinating article on the newspaper business and condensed for easy reading. It begins with a discussion of the linotype machine and how newspaper owners were so keen to get rid of it (and the expensive operators).
So how would Superman make ends meet without his lousy newspaper job? Elisson has the answer.
Over at Leslie’s Omnibus, they have endured the same bionic sleep routine that was recently inflicted on Mark.
If you’re feeling sleepy, keep in mind that the TAN-man has instituted the “blink don’t wink” campaign. Finally, the voice of reason!
We enjoyed this skwibby fiction from Jesus’ General about Tim Russert’s upbringing.
My Blahg has suggested with tongue-in-cheek (we hope) that Canada get some Nukes Now. Then again, General Kang says we’d be idiots not to have them …
And to wrap things up, Steve at The Poutine Diaries has asked us to give London (Ontario) a new name. Here are the (predictable) suggestions from The Skwib crew: Kangtown, Thagville and Tundra Junction. (The last one makes no sense at all, as London is not a junction town.) Mark has suggested an Italo Calvino-like name Parochia.
Don Surber is hosting the Carnival of the Celebrities, where you can learn all about favourite famous people. (Or not.)
You’ll also find some Funny Stuff over at The Conservative Cat.
Update: The Carnival of Insanity is up at Dr. Sanity. Waka waka!
On names (slide one)Baptized Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Gottlieb) Mozart
That fourth name variously translated to:
Inspired by Mozart’s 250th birthday.
“Cyberspace” is dead. We knew Thag smelled something. A few desperate attempts to coin a new term include:
The best of the suggestions are “infosphere” but General Kang thinks “datasphere” rolls off the tongue much better.
Update: Upon reflection, “world brain” in English is quite lame, but in German, kind of cool in a Teutonic way: “Weltgehirn.”
We can imagine Dr. Tundra strutting around in black boots and a plastic shower cap, while he fiddles with his Blackberry, shouting at the top of his lungs: “Ich liebe das Weltgehirn!”
Inspired by this article.
Welcome to the 18th Carnival of Satire, here at The Skwib. As always, we have a lively passel of satire, with a slight leaning towards news parody this week. Hah, you thought we were going to say “to the right, didn’t you?” Admit it! It seems like everything is leaning to the right — even Canada — so it’s pointless to say. Okay, onto the posts:
Vox Poplar at Vox Poplar is Right About Everything & Don’t You Forget It! explains why the French sometimes piss everyone off in Les Option Nuclear.
Elisson at Blog d’Elisson “plumbs” new “depths” with this edition of Ask Mr. Debonair. You might want to bring along a wet-nap when you read this one.
Dr. Tundra knew there had to be some kind of explanation, and now Mr. Right at The Right Place has provided it: Sunspot Activity Causes Brief Interruption of Karl Rove’s “Mind-Ray” – Democrats Claim Rare Moment of Sanity. Now, if only we could get Jacque Chirac to turn of his own “Mind-Ray” and let the Republicans have a moment of clarity too.
Okay, this post from Seun Osewa at Naijarita News is satire. For sure. Thag not get fooled twice: 3rd Term Saga: Obasanjo Threatens To Freeze NFA Account!
In this razor-like satire, Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face discovers Bin Laden Embroiled In Abramoff Dirty Money Scandal. Continue reading…
There is a pithy Carnival of the Vanities up at Blueprint for Financial Prosperity.
This video is quite funny — verging on cute — and don’t worry, despite the title, it is safe for work. The Internet Is For Porn.
And in the not-totally-unrelated file: the news that the Catholic Church is now blessing Hooters.
They had been friends since childhood.
That’s what made it so, so difficult. Impossible, even.
Karl just didn’t know how to tell Lenny that the long white nose hair thing?
Well, it was really grossing him out.
[From the Toulouse Le Grandfig Collection]
Copies of Marvellous Hairy are available at the publisher's website direct or on Amazon.com
