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Archive | January, 2006

Carnival of Satire #15

By on January 5, 2006 in Carnival of Satire

Carnival of Satire #15Welcome to the first Carnival of Satire of the new year! We hope you all had a nice break over the holidays, and will forgive our brief absence. Now onto the posts:

Madeleine Begun Kane at Mad Kane’s Notables updates a classic with Auld Lang Impeachment.

Elisson at Blog d’Elisson takes us on the line and shows us the horrors of Assembly.

Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face discovers that Burt Reynolds is starting to look like Dennis Weaver (aka McCloud) in “The Bandit” Outraged Over Border Wall.

Tommy at Striving For Average takes us to the Letterman show in The Rhetorical Post. Continue Reading →

Headlines for the Ages: Salads with ass

By on January 4, 2006 in But is it art?, General Skwib

Salads with (s)ass - headline from LFP

This headline from the London Free Press really does make one gag. Who would have thought that staid old London (Ontario) would have an interest in such shocking gastronomical fare? This is yet another reason why proofing your newspaper on the screen can be so fraught with peril — and in this case, moral outrage.

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (DaVinci First ‘Flight’ Edition)

By on January 3, 2006 in But is it art?, The Lost PowerPoints

Da Vinci drawing of wingHuman flight (slide one)

  • Always wanted to fly
  • Inspired by bird touching me in crib
  • No, with wing, not guano, wiseass.

Gliding looks likely (slide six)

  • Birds function according to mathematical laws
  • Man can reproduce similar instrument
  • Not eggs, though.

Test behind shop

  • Roof of Corte Vecchia is perfect spot
  • Sheltered corner behind tower
  • Workmen finishing the tiburio of cathedral will not see me and say rude things about the machine.

Twisted ankle (only slide)

  • Glad I only tested from roof, not cliff-top as originally thought
  • Perhaps a parachute next?

Inspired by:
Anniversary of Da Vinci’s unsuccessful flying machine test (January 3, 1496).

Ask General Kang: Happy New Year – are you going to reveal your plans for Planet Earth any time soon?

By on January 3, 2006 in Ask General Kang

Ask General KangWell, as your own Sung Tzu said, “All war is deception,” so you’d be foolish to believe anything that I told you.

However, with that caveat, I will tell you that I’m very impressed with you Earthlings, particularly your creativity; it translates into all kinds of incredible things like religion, art and corporate reward programs (and of course, your vast capability for self-deception). So my eventual victory over you puny humans will require that I turn your creative nature to my advantage.

Either that or I may first bombard your cities with massive fruit cakes. Having just experienced my first “Christmas”, I cannot imagine a more demoralizing opening move.

Next time: My tinfoil helmet doesn’t seem to be blocking out the voices. Any ideas?