Babelfish translation of Chocochoque page:
Soon!
Nikkenpikken
Extra Long!After the Dutch company has Buys the name change ‘ negerzoen ‘ in simply ‘ zoen ‘ came we let us decide of Chocochoque on the idea this of filling up vacuum with a daring new product. Especially for the Dutch market we now come with Nikkepikken. This delicacy seems on the negerzoen but is extra long! Therefore extra enjoy!
All we can say is that we hope that is a chocolate.
Greetings comrades. Strangely, this is once again an extremely spiritual Carnival of Satire, though we were sad to see that Buddhism was not included in the religions represented. Come on people! Just because the religion is … like … all detached and filled with the such-ness of the moment, doesn’t mean we can’t satirize it. Think Bart Simpson and his answer to the question: “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”
Okay, we’re sure you’ll clap at least two hands for this week’s submissions:
Limerick Savant at limerick savant has a work of genius! It’s rare to find a limerick that not only doesn’t have the word “Nantucket” in it, but that also works on several levels at once. Chef’s return: a dish served cold.
Attention all doctors! Hobart T. Johnson at Hobart T. Johnson has unearthed a tome that you must read. A new Medical Textbook: Inject First, Ask Questions Later.
Amanuensis at Catymology tells us of the first group interspecies nuptials. For anyone with a cat, this might just strike a little too close to home.
Le centre at Centrerion wakes up to smell Osama and Coffee.
Harvey Bluedorn at Trivium Pursuit really tickled General Kang’s fancy with this Unfortunate Omission. You didn’t know that the general is greatly amused by our ancient history, did you?
AbbaGav at AbbaGav has cut through the bureaucracy and found the New Hamas Govt Employee Benefits Form.
Dean Swift at A Swiftian Rant gets all medieval on our buttocks in New Pope Steps Up. Continue reading…
In the first game of the Dumbass Olympics, we have two legendary teams up against one another: Australia vs. Canada. Having just dominated the Commonwealth Games, Australia probably feels like they have this sewn up, particularly when you see their lead Dumbass: a 44-year-old man who stopped to ask the police for directions to Uluru (Ayers Rock). Two problems: he was only 100 metres away from it, and he was drunk.
But not to be outdone, a man in Nova Scotia has been busted for shooting a robotic moose!
We would like to congratulate him for seeing the dangers of the coming robot uprising, but unfortunately, he thought it was a real moose. And it was a sting operation by the Natural Resources Department. And the conservation officers were standing nearby, so he was easy to nab.
Why is it illegal to shoot a robotic moose? It’s not. It’s illegal to shoot the mainland moose because it’s an endangered species.
Round one goes to Canada. The decoy may look pretty real, but the conservation officers should have been a tip-off.
Mitigating factors: The Australian was drunk, and it WAS dark when he asked for directions to Uluru.
Man misses world’s biggest rock | Popping Bullwinkle costs hunter | Moose by sirmildredpierce
Me linky long time.
Thanks to everyone who hosts carnivals — it’s a big job, but it makes the bloggy world much more interesting. In particular, thanks to the following for including The Skwib:
Overcompensating in HollywoodIf you’ve ever thought that male Hollywood stars might be overcompensating for something, then you’re right. Low sperm counts! A new survey of LA men shows that smog is not only bad for the lungs, it’s bad for the boys. Don’t get too smug New Yorkers … you’ve got smog too. New Scientist story: Ozone spikes hit men where it hurts
Did you know that tuberculosis, affectionately known as “TB”, has it’s own day? That’s right. It’s today! And this report from The Globe and Mail says that cute-as-a-button TB is more virulent than ever. Oh, look, it’s just wiped out one in seven patients, isn’t that adorable? Maybe if we gave it two days, it would behave.
Not only is it going to get hotter, it’s going to get wetter. Now, to paraphrase Robin Williams (as Adrian Cronauer), that’s nice if you’re pitching woo with a special friend, but not so good if you own property near Boca Raton. And it may happen sooner than we originally thought. Old and busted thinking. New (scary) hotness.
Last weekend Dr. Maximillian Tundra was lucky enough to go away for the weekend on a roadtrip with his buddies.
It was nearly the last thing he ever did.
After stopping for a delightful (if artery-hardening) breakfast buffet at the Husky station near London, Max decided that he should use the facilities before they hit the road.
It was an automated bathroom, and something bad was happening to them. The urinal was okay, but the faucets had Max doing a routine reminiscent of Lucille Ball. They were the kind that have little sensors that detect when you’re hands are underneath them, and only dispense water when they are. Unless they’re losing their little robotic minds, or, they’re fucking with you.
In which case, the one you’re hands are under doesn’t work. The one NEXT to you on the right does. So you move over to that faucet and basin — just like Dr. Tundra did — and then it stops.
And the one you were just at starts up.
Repeat several times until you get your hands wet enough to wash and then proceed to the drying stage.
At first, Dr. Tundra was baffled by the paper towel dispenser. Continue reading…
Hey, it just occurred to me (hi, Mark here) that I’ve been happily plugging away at The Skwib for nearly a year without mentioning my book again. Okay, there’s an ad about it on the sidebar, but we all ignore those, right?
It’s called The Amadeus Net, and it’s a lot more entertaining than this blog. It’s a futuristic satire about Mozart not getting his “sprouter” snipped off, nuclear war and cross-dressing Englishmen. You can buy it directly from the publisher ENC Press (or from the Ontario Library Association if you live in Canada).
OR, you could try to win a copy by sending a gut-busting fake news story to I Got News For You (.com), who has launched a contest in what I can only guess is a rarefied field. Certainly a few of the regular contributors to the Carnival of Satire would have a shot. Details here.
Or, if you plan to give it a great review on your website, and tell all your friends about it, I’ll send you a copy. Seriously. Email me here.
So this is officially half a year we’ve been doing this, and if this week’s generally excellent submissions are any indication, we’ve just gotten started. We are especially pleased to see more satire from across the political spectrum, and practically breathless to see satire that points out the foibles of multiple parties at once. So on to the Carnival of Satire before we pass out:
We’re not sure, but it seems to me that Dean Swift at A Swiftian Rant may have not gotten his research cleared by the ethics committee. Dr. Tundra was glad Mr. Swift did not, because he was greatly amused by Bored to Flames.
Joan Conde at Mamacita is way excited, because now we can Celebrate “National Buy a Gun Day”.
Imagine if Dashiell Hammett wrote the Hardy Boys. Okay, now go read The Case Of The Origami Taco by El Capitan at Baboon Pirates.
We enjoy it so much when everyone is made fun of at the same time… Madeleine Begun Kane at Mad Kane’s Notables does it so adroitly in Russ Feingold Verse.
You see, here’s another one where everybody gets it. “a4g” at Point Five discovers the ying to the yang in its reportage of a Study: Self-Reliant Kids Grow Up To Be Whiny Liberals.
Jon Swift at Jon Swift has discovered President Bush’s Secret Plan for Winning the War in Iraq. And now the debacle all makes sense!
Big Cajun Man (aka Alan), at Canadian Financial Advice and Rants, has a link to a very funny bit of video from Rick Mercer (who despite thinking the Canadian PM is a “stand-up” guy, still does good satire) — Tax Time: Knee in my Package?
LYT at Pererro produces some day-umn funny stuff in this Exclusive scene from “A Short Story: The Movie”.
Tommy at Striving For Average has discovered The Code Pink Plan. (He makes this look easy, but Mark is pretty sure it’s not.) Continue reading…
Everyone knew the Homunculus Brothers were freakin’ brilliant.
Little Mao was a born leader; they would hear great things from him one day for sure.
The next oldest, Zin, did cat-torture murals that could bring a tear to the eye. The youngest, Sun, was a shy one, but nobody had ever heard of a 3-year-old solving 97-digit square roots in their heads before.
And Raymond? Well, he was ’special’.
[From the Toulouse Le Grandfig Collection]
Copies of Marvellous Hairy are available at the publisher's website direct or on Amazon.com
