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Archive | March, 2007
Monday Carnival Roundup
The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Barbie Edition)
Barbie pushes 50, presented by Ken (March 9, 2007) –> slide 1
- She’s 50 in two years, and she still looks great.
- We’ve had a great time, even when she had a panda as a pet.
- Of course, the sex has never been great, because you know …. no genitals.
Nabisco Marketing VP presents “Oreo Fun Barbie” (circa 1997) –> slide 6
- Excellent cross-promotion joining deliciousness of Oreo cookies with powerful Barbie brand
- We’ll manufacture white and black versions of doll and sell with cookies
- No downside!
Barbie presents “I’m talking” (circa 1992) –> slide 10
- Will we ever have enough clothes?
- I love shopping!
- I’m too thin to menstruate!
Barbie launched at the American International Toy Fair on March 9, 1959. Photo by Ordinary Guy.
The Carnival of Satire (#69)
Happy International Woman’s Day and welcome to the Carnival of Satire (the sixty-ninth edition — purely a coincidence). We hope you enjoy it:
Rebecca Newburn has a parody that is not only fun, but educational: Learn about Biodiversity: Bio DaVersity Code presented at Information Age Education.
Rob at Old is the New New has Five For The Gipper an alternate history/satire for the 80s.
Conservathink has news about one of our favourite bugaboos: Greenspan chastised by investors for economically insensitive comments; use of r-word sparks massive sell-off.
From economics to politics: Don Davis at the Satirical Political Report has “The Secret” to a long list of disasters.
Ahistoricality discovered a useful (and extremely f*cking sarcastic) Blogger’s style guide for Civility and Seriousness.
Madeleine Begun Kane reminds us that it’s not only the quaint-British-insult-hurling liberals that have a problem with incivility: Why I Won’t Use What’s-Her-Name’s Name Anymore. Continue Reading →
Ask General Kang: I just heard NASA doesn’t have the money to protect Earth from killer asteroids — what should I do?
This is a tough one. You’re referring to the report yesterday that NASA says it could find the 20,000 potentially hazardous comets and asteroids near Earth, but it would cost $1 billion. It doesn’t have the cash, so your planet will go unprotected.
I’m torn on this problem. On one hand, I’m currently residing on this planet, so there is some concern — who wants to be so unlucky as to get killed by a meteor? I mean, that’s just embarrassing. On the other hand, if NASA has a robust observation platform, then it might spot my Lost Armada (if it ever arrives) and my Tutu Brigade will have more problems conquering your puny planet.
On the third prehensile appendage (my left foot, remember, I’m an uber-chimp) it would serve you silly humans right. You’re willing to spend hundreds of billions on killing other humans, but not even one billion on protecting everyone? And if we’re rounding out the appendage count, I guess I have to give you an answer, because that’s my job at the moment.
So, try to raise the money another way. Get a consortium together and don’t rely on NASA to do it. You could start with a bake sale, and I can bring my Smashing Banana Meteor Muffins.
Next time: Do you have a question for General Kang? Leave it in the comments.
Snarky
Check out the Carnival of Snark for a dose of sarcasm.