It turns out that the long-distance “Twilight Bark” scene from 101 Dalmatians isn’t so fictional. (You know, the scene when the parents of the puppy-napped pooches, Pongo and Perdita, let all the other dogs in England know their young have been kidnapped by the chain-smoking, highly motivated and mildly deranged Cruella de Vil.)

Research from Eötvös Loránd University in Budapest (Hungary) shows that dogs can distinguish between other pooches’ barks. According to the New Scientist, the researchers: “measured the heart-rate fluctuations of pet dogs while playing them recordings of dogs barking at strangers and dogs barking to get attention.”

They discovered that dogs can distinguish between the different kinds of barking, and “it might be that they also understand,” says Péter Pongrácz, the lead researcher.

No word yet on if dogs are able to communicate via urine, but I suspect the answer is yes, and they call it pee-mail.

This dog was banned from the study, mostly because he was channeling Bud Abbot:

New Scientist story about this research, and an invention to interpret dog barks. Humor-blogs.com is highly adept at pee-mail.

Possibly not safe for work.

Today’s video doesn’t have the same indirect grooviness of this one celebrating potato salad. Humor-blogs.com is always groovy.

Well, the people have spoken, and in their wisdom, this is the order:

First Place: Nexus 6

Second Place: Spice

Third Place: Soma

So now Kittrick, the creator of Nexus 6 must make the difficult choice: a walk-on part in my next novel, a copy of my last book, or the “mystery item” from my desk? Oooo. Congrats to Paul and Bagel as well.

Thanks to everyone who entered this contest. To make that more concrete, if anyone who entered would like a copy of my first novel, THE AMADEUS NET, it’s yours for the cost of shipping. Email me at author-at-markarayner.com.

The full gallery is here, the finalists here, and the original contest notice here. We’ll do it again sometime, for sure.

Now, just so you don’t think I’m being completely ironic, Rob at Old Is the New New, found this delicious Livejournal community that asks the historically vital question: Were they hot? Check out the babe with the eye patch!

Mark at NeoBubble is worried about the end lines, and has a great list to prove it.

And if like me, you are also trying to get in shape, you may want to check out Rickey’s useful Guide to Gym Membership.

Then you may want to massage your brain with this week’s Carnival of the Insanities, or perhaps massage your atheism with the Carnival of the Godless.

And now, something completely different:

(This one via Neatorama.)

Humor-blogs.com is also the devil, and so is the Carnival of the Insanities. Go to both and laugh ’till you lose weight.

Are you an insatiable snacking machine? Covered in blue fur? Now there is hope.

New research from the University of Birmingham in the UK indicates it may be possible to stop yourself from snacking if you use your brain.

They ran a test in which half the volunteers were asked to vividly remember and describe their last meal — lunch in this case — and the other half were asked to remember their last haircut. Then delicious, delicious cookies were served. Those who were asked to remember their last meal ate fewer cookies (or “biscuits” in UK parlance).

The researchers believe the vivid, specific memory stimulates the hippocampus, which they say may play an important role in decision-making and memory-processing. “One possibility is remembering recent eating boosts the influence this information has on decision-making,” says Suzanne Higgs, lead researcher on the study.

No word yet on what effect remembering previous meals has on removing one’s hideous pelt.

Though there are fewer Muppets references, New Scientist has more details. Humor-blogs.com is also covered in blue fur. Anyone else think the cookie monster might have some serious food issues? And yes, I am dieting.

I was going to save this for the Carnival of Satire (which will be delayed), but it’s too good not to pass along.

The pseudo-post-modern essays are created using something called a “Dada Engine” — how FlapperPunk is that?

Generate your own pomo masterpiece.

Hosted at a website called Communications from Elsewhere, the author notes:

“If you enjoy this, you might also enjoy reading about the Social Text Affair, where NYU Physics Professor Alan Sokal’s brilliant(ly meaningless) hoax article was accepted by a cultural criticism publication.”

Tip o’ the hat, and a hearty thanks to Neatorama for linking the Vintage Ads of Fictional Futures final.

Okay, I’ll admit it, I’m a weasel — I couldn’t pick three out of the thirty excellent submissions on the gallery. I had trouble getting it down to ten, and there are still some that I wish I could include. Here is the short list of finalists, and a web thingy you can vote with — remember, you can pick your favourite three! (You can click on the thumbnails for a larger view.)

(And if any of the artists would like to explain why their submission is superior, please feel free to do so in the comments.)

Pan-Galactic

Spindizzy

Spice

451

Palanquin

Carousel

E-Secretaries

Soma

Nexus 6

Holodeck

There are prizes!

What, pray tell is the prize? Well, if you win, you can choose from:

• a prominent walk-on role in my next novel
• a copy of THE AMADEUS NET
• a “mystery” item from within the bowels of my desk.

The second-place winner will choose from the remaining prizes, and the bronze winner gets whatever is left.

Voting ends at 8 am, April 28th!

The full gallery of entries is here. Everyone from humor-blogs.com is invited to vote early and often.

Any fans of Samuel Beckett will want to check out this little gem on YouTube. It’s strongly reminiscent of the absurdity of Waiting for Godot:

Estragon: I can’t go on like this.
Vladimir: That’s what you think.

The premise is that Charlie Rose is interviewing Charlie Rose about technology. (And its absurdities.)

Via Very Short List, which has this to say about their favourite moment: “One Charlie successfully unnerves the other with a simple “Steve is not happy” — hands-down the most portentously sinister non sequitur since “What’s the frequency, Kenneth?”". Humor-blogs.com has recently been in non sequitur mode too, but it seems better now.

The last updates are on the gallery page.

Thanks to everyone who has put together a product, service or concept from a fictional future with a vintage ad — there are 30 entries all told, and boy the judging is going to be tough. I’ll post the finalists tomorrow morning, and then let you all vote on who wins. What are the stakes? Well, they’re listed below.

In an effort to keep this page from crashing again, I’ve done a collage of just a few of the entries. Click on it, or here, to see all 30 entries:

The Rules:

So, find some vintage ads, and then insert a product from a fictional future — it can be from a book, movie, TV, etc. The only proviso is that it has to have been written by someone else, so none of your own bizarre fictional futures. (Someone else’s bizarre future is fine, so all you William S. Burroughs fans are not barred from competition.)

1. create your masterpiece
2. post it to your blog
3. link to this post (or better yet, let me know where it is via email or in the comments)
4. wait for the aplomb and/or ridicule of your peers.

There are prizes!

What, pray tell is the prize? Well, if you win, you can choose from:

• a prominent walk-on role in my next novel
• a copy of THE AMADEUS NET
• a “mystery” item from within the bowels of my desk.

The second-place winner will choose from the remaining prizes, and the bronze winner gets whatever is left. Worth playing for? The contest will run until (Sunday, April 20).

You may want to check out plan59.com or Flickr or Photobucket for inspiration.

You can find my original post about this here. All the artists at humor-blogs.com are invited!