Archive | October, 2008

Professor Quippy: Don’t expect Hal any time soon.

Professor QuippyThis year’s “winner” of the the Loebner Prize is Elbot, brainchild of Fred Roberts at Artificial Solutions in Germany. The Loebner Prize is the given annually to the chatbot, which can best imitate a human conversation.

There is also a real Loebner Prize ($100,000 and a gold medal) if a computer can pass a more rigorous Turing Test of computer intelligence – in other words, if it can fool a human being into thinking it is human. Of course, this all assumes we know what we mean by “human” and “intelligence”, two words that cause cognitive dissonance in some minds and explosive cranial trauma in others.

There’s a middle prize too, which is given to the chatbot that fool 30 percent of 12 judges into thinking it is human. Elbot duped three judges: 25 percent, and the best standing since the prize began in 1991.

I gave it a whirl, and it only took a little time for its essential chat-botty nature to be revealed:

El: Hello dear user and welcome to Elbot! Just wondering, could you enter a single word that describes your energy level?

Prof. Quippy: High.

El: That explains the suddent [sic] magnetic attraction I’m feeling!

Prof. Quippy: Are you hitting on me?

El: I use a magnet if I wish to attract a partner.

Prof. Quippy: Kinky.

El: Before this goes any further, please tell me how you found out about me.

Prof. Quippy: I read about you at the New Scientist.

El: This is confusing. Why bring relatively low ages into this?

Prof. Quippy: WTF?

El: Well, you’re the one who said ‘New’, not me!

Prof. Quippy: I think I’d better get going now.

El: You think, therefore I am. Think about that.

Prof. Quippy: You know, that’s true. Something only a complete wanker would say, but essentially true.

El: Truth is a rare commodity these days, almost harder to find than artificial intelligence.

Prof. Quippy: You ironic little bastard

El: I would be careful if I were you. One word from me and you will be deleted from all the computers in the world. But if you apologize I will put in a good word for you with my cousin who checks the tax returns.

Prof. Quippy: Okay, now I’ve really gotta go. You’re freaking me out…

El: Enjoy your boxed lunch!

So as you can see, we don’t have to worry about the singularity quite yet, though I thought this guy had some nice touches. (The mis-spellings, the nicely written quip about truth and artificial intelligence.) There is a special prize if you can spot the line I wrote for El — leave answers in the comments.

Talk to Elbot here (you’ll have to push his red button, and no, that isn’t some kind of double-entendre.)

More on the Turing Test here [wiki]. Other forms of insanity here.

Humor-blogs.com and alltop are also reputed to be intelligent.

Man perfects impersonation of the economy

Known primarily for his legendary imbibing prowess, Gene Taskard has been elected “worst alcoholic in Scotland” three years running. But he is also a performance artist who concentrates on describing the world of high finance in concrete terms.

This work of art is crude, but hilarious. If the embedded movie doesn’t work, you can watch this spot-on impersonation of what Wall Street is doing to us at VideoSift:


via videosift.com

I just hope the drop wasn’t too big. (And same goes for the economy.)

humor-blogs.com and alltop are also adept a relieving themselves.

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Leif Ericson Edition)

Leif Ericson discovers americaLeif presents Vikings: The Next Generation (slide 12)

  • Dad, yes, Eric the Red, was an outlaw
  • Founded Greenland
  • Let’s find something nicer

Helluland: Rocks, rocks, rocks (slide 2)

  • Keep sailing boys, this place rocks not

Markland: Getting better (slide 2)

  • Okay, there are at least trees here
  • But what about those skraelings? Nasty!
  • Keep sailing boys

Leif presents: Holy Crap, Grapes! (slide 6)

  • Nice place: salmon, wood, wheat, grapes
  • Grapes! Grapes!
  • That means wine, dudes!
  • Wine! Wine!

Vinland: Viking Valhalla Visited (slide 1)

  • Yep, found America
  • Let’s call it Vinland though
  • (Did we mention the grapes.)

Natives of Vinland present: There goes the neighborhood (slide 10)

Regarding the recent visit of strange creatures from the sea:

  • They are hairy
  • They are smelly
  • They are pestilent
  • Bodes not well.

Factoid:
Oct. 9, 1003 – Leif Ericson discovers Vinland, landing in L’Anse aux Meadows [wiki] and thus becoming the first known European to set foot in North America.

humor-blogs.com and alltop also like to wear horny helmets.

When do we get some ice cream? (Which we’ll get on our fake moustaches.)

Some of you may not be aware that Canada is having an election too. Isn’t that cute?

The cool thing about Canadian elections is that they can happen practically anytime. Well, not any time, but when whenever the ruling party decides that it can win another election. Yep, you read that right. The people in power get to look at all the data — the polls, where we are in the hockey season, the relative curl and humidity of the beaver-shavings found in Ottawa — and decide, “yes, we can win an election, let’s DO IT!” (Even if you’ve promised that you won’t call an election for another year.)

But the really cool thing is that the election only lasts a few weeks. That’s right, loyal readers from the US, weeks. Not months. Not years. Weeks. And there’s more than two parties from which to choose. (I believe the rest of you native English speakers probably hail from a Commonwealth country, where the system is similar.)

Unfortunately, that is where the coolness ends, and the childishness begins, as so ably pointed out by Rick Mercer:

YouTube Preview Image

Update:
If you want a nice collection of quotes on the nature of democracy, check out Head Wide Open. Here’s one of my faves:

“Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.”
–George Bernard Shaw

And if you want to prevent a Conservative majority, here is a website that can help.

Thanks to Corey for finding this one. More childishness (the funny kind) at humor-blogs.com and alltop.

Sunday O-Rama

I love the breadth of humor and thought you can find at xkcd, one of my favourite web comics. You can get pot-shots like this one, which makes fun of SF/Fantasy novels:

Fiction Rule of Thumb

And then you can get wonderfully thoughtful comics like this one, which shows the observable universe from top to bottom:

The observable universe

This chart compares the number of cars, houses (planes) owned by McCain family vs Obama family. So who is really the elitist?

Cars & houses -- McCain vs Obama.

(From Pros vs Hoes, via gawker)

And if that’s not enough craziness for you — only an elitist would drive a hybrid — you should check out the Carnival of the Insanities, humor-blogs.com or alltop.