Chester was drunk on his own power and the length of his twin-focus, multi-plexiform, maxi-twilled lens.
He especially enjoyed the way the lady’s track team always decided to stretch just in front of the massive gravitorm field his lens produced.
Also, the magni-voxiterm housing hid his “composition” efforts quite effectively.
The last time Zendrophon the Cruel had conquered the known universe, things hadn’t been so difficult.
He’d had to deal with the X-crapion menace, and then there were all those space pirates in the Horsehead Nebula. Not so hard.
But this time he had worms and it was cramping his style.
Not to mention his lower intestine.
Shortly before opening night, Nancy Wiggenstern- plasticbucket-mopsweat- massivepants (nee Pithybush) discovered that her husband, Mr. Arthur Siddly Kramp-gotten Wiggenstern- plasticbucket- mopsweat-massivepants was having an affair with the entire women’s chorus of the Estonian National Ballet’s production of Vile Kelley’s “Bingeputty!”
Unfortunately for the chorus, Nancy Wiggenstern- plasticbucket-mopsweat- massivepants was a sixth dan black belt in the little-known Estonian martial art of SlapNurple, and they were cut down in the middle of the big finale, “Cream Pudding,” their graceful pirouettes turning into a horrific melee that ended in arterial spurts of blood and extremely purple pointy bits.
The critics loved it.
One day, Ernie Squingy just couldn’t take the brutal mechanization anymore, and started filling the bottles “manually”.
[From the Toulouse Le Grandfig Necrobiblia Collection]
But somewhere out in the inky cold of space, there is one that our atmosphere cannot consume, that cannot be contained by even a lake of cream cheese.
An extinction-level bagel.
[From the Toulouse Le Grandfig Necrobiblia Collection]