Neville and Ezekial Broughton grew up on the frontier, working the ranch their father built out of hard work, genocide, and cruelty to animals. Yet they rose above these humble beginnings to form the first Gentlemen’s Inventor League west of the Mississippi, dreaming of the day they would one day attend the Annual Inventor’s Exhibition in London, England.
They made their fortune on toasters. Everyone enjoyed toast, and this gave them the wherewithal to pursue other, more esoteric designs.
What if it was possible to use the power of the electron? Could they create a perfectly toasted slice of bread, light brown on both sides, using the very nature of the universe?
The answer was no.
Klaktron XII was the Hyper-Commander of the United Federation of Incredibly Regular Planets Space Vessel, Cheeznip. His was a storied career. He’d eaten ultrasonic oysters in the Seafood Nebula, and lived to tell the tale (in five-part harmony). He’d fought the Mighty Slorg at the Interstellar Buffet of Shame and All-You-Can Ingest Space Bacon, narrowly escaping with a portion of the coveted Prime Rib. (Only served on Wednesdays.) And of course, he’d single-handedly defeated the Whiffle-Bat Armada of the Planet Cuddles.