America has spoken, KFC! They don’t want to waste precious calories chewing.
Patton Oswald talks food, fat and character actors! Don’t miss the Green Lantern reference.
Note: Not safe for work because Oswald is a naughty, naughty man, with a potty-mouth. E.g., he says the non-g-rated version of “I want to fill you you-hoo with my love juice.”
You can find it at YouTube too.
I’ve actually had a job wearing big mascot-like costumes. For a brief period in 1988, I was employed as a singing telegram man, singing birthday greetings, anniversary congratulations and nuptial announcements in a number of places around town. I was able to play guitar and sing, so most of the time, I was given the top hat and tails costume, which yields just a small amount of psychic residue. However, the gorilla suit… (Well, just look around my website, and you’ll see it caused a certain amount of damage.)
All things you should keep in mind as you watch Meat Treat.
And on this day, The Blessed Sisters of Righteousness will curse the local constabulary, and upon them they shall heap scorn. They shall beshrew them with language most colorful, saying they are “spawn of cross-eyed turd farmers” and “tedious conversationalists with halitosis and feet that smell of onion.” Truly, they shall cackle.
And their Most Reverent Mother shall expectorate. Ye, verily, She will Hock a Loogie of the Lord.
So it will be, and on this day, the constabulary shall issue a Written Warning, and they shall be Unrepentant and the Day of Judgment shall be soon after.
And truly, there will come a time when the faithful women-folk of a distant land will no longer run through the Forests of the City without protection, for the men-folk will not Exercise with them and protect them with their bulk.
And lo! A Prophet shall say, “I shall protect you, though your men-folk do not!”
And the Prophet will construct devices of cunning, colored “fashion” pink, and “red-hot” red. And some devices will be covered with the Skin of a Leopard. Others will be “matte” black, and hidden in holsters of cow skin.
The Prophet shall sell these devices for a reasonable price, and they will be Weapons that Harness the Lightning. And when their Lightning is released upon the Unbelievers, the Rapists, and other Beasts of the Forest of the City, they shall say, “ung-ung-ung!” and fall twitching to the ground.
And all the while, the faithful women-folk of this distant land shall listen to the Music of the Heavens. And they shall glory in the Songs of Prince, and the Madonna, and other Holy Crooners that are good to hear when running, for the device can hold many songs.
Okay, so it’s a promotional video, but kinda fun. Just try to ignore the cliché Justin Long uses at the beginning of the video to discuss overused tropes in les flick des chicks.
Try YouTube if the embeddy thing can’t come up with something original.
p.s. It would have been much funnier if at the end, after Connolly says “thanks for watching” Bradley Cooper asked, “did any of that seem a little gay to you?”