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Toulouse Le Grandfig’s Summer Vacation: Amazonia

By on July 14, 2011 in But is it art?, Toulouse Le Grandfig

In the land of the AmazonsHermitage Villas, 3000 BC

I’m in the land of the Amazons. The women are giant. And cruel. They play a game called “Truncheons and Skulls” with the men.

The winners levitate the unfortunate survivors; these poor devils are forced to laugh at their ignominious floating before they are consumed by carnivorous haberdashery.

I weep. My cigar is flaccid. All-told, I am sorry to have left the boat.

Next Time: Onionania

About the Photographer: Toulouse Le Grandfig was a surrealist painter, photographer and writer who never gave up dadaism. Also, he was fond of mulit-layered conundrums that could be fried with garlic.

Marvellous Hairy is sorry to have left the boat. You know, you’re never supposed to leave the boat. Watch for tigers if you do. And cows. Originally published July 2008.

Apocalypse Cow

By on June 28, 2011 in Parody & Satire

apocalypse cowNever get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program.

And me? I was off the boat the same time as Kurtz. Sure, I’d been obeying orders, but my mind was gone. I was in fields of green and clover. With milkmaids.

Oh man, those bullshit milkmaids…

But I had a job to do, and there would be no welcome, supple fingers pulling on my teats when we got to the end of the river. Only barbecue.

The barbecue … the barbecue.

Are they gonna say Alltop was a good man? No. Wrong. Originally appeared at Name Your Tale. Cow by publicenergy.