From my witty and insightful Chesleyan colleague, Martin Redfern:
- Exaggerate Canadian chances of a medal. Show profile.
- Present entire competition as the story of #1.
- Don’t forget to mention all the injuries and hardships overcome: broken legs, cranial trauma, corns, nymphomaniac sister…
- Pretend to be surprised and disappointed by outcome when athlete does not win gold.
- Interview Canadian athlete and ask, in essence, “How does it feel to have disappointed your entire country, loser?”
- Casually mention any Canadian connection — no matter how tenuous — to the athlete who did win gold.
- Go to 1.