Tag Archives | the last dadaist

February 29, 1933, Capipi Bumonsis

I sense the voyage is about to come to an end. The customs agents here are strange men. Their beards are not mellow, but wild and full of strife.

Oh, for a helping of soup!

But there is no rest. The man with the cane spots my imagined tail, and I am nicked. The police are angry.

They make me play whist.

About the Photographer: Toulouse Le Grandfig was a surrealist painter, photographer and writer who never gave up dadaism. Unfortunately, he was beyond the reach of traditional foot architecture.

For most of his life, the artist was perpendicular, occasionally ingested the bodily fluids of other mammals, and seldom baked.

Marvellous Hairy is cooked and ready for your delectation. You should go there and get a copy. We will send you muffins to say thank you. Speaking of muffins… Originally published July 2008.

April 12, Jungian Analysis

Swollen cheeks and brass protuberances strike the crew of the Good Ship Plotkin. It is the worst outbreak of Bugler’s Mouth I’ve seen since the Great War. One by one, the crew is afflicted, and I am left alone to man the ship with “Ahoy Gregor you great walloping pederast.” Alas, my monkey burns…

Next Time: Angry Beards

About the Photographer: Toulouse Le Grandfig was a surrealist painter, photographer and writer who never gave up dadaism. Also, he played with an incomplete deck of cards.

Insert obvious dice-short-a-few-spots joke here. Then insert your purchase chip and buy Marvellous Hairy here. Don’t mention “insertion” while you’re here. Originally published July 2008.

SS Plotkin, circa. 1901

I separate the mists of time like the Great Jabber Monkey’s own cosmic speculum.

The Fates glare at me as I slowly walk up the gangway: Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos.

“You cannot avoid your destiny,” Clotho says to me, her sea-cap at a jaunty angle.

“No,” Lachesis affirmed. “There is no escape.”

“Arf!” said Atropos, and then piddled on Clotho’s gaberdine cruiseware.

Next Time: A Brassademic

About the Photographer: Toulouse Le Grandfig was a surrealist painter, photographer and writer who never gave up dadaism. Also, he played a mean sousaphone.

The staff apologies for the inadvertent classical allusions used in this post. If you would show us by purchasing a copy of Marvellous Hairy, we’d appreciate it. Then mess with these people. Originally published July 2008.

Brighton, circa. 2000

This young gent claims that his name is Dennis Travesty. Don at Prancing Fairy College.

I call him Coclear Implant. Wonder at his hat. The shoes.

And where, do you ask, are the monkeys in this photo? They consumed his artificial eyelashes shortly after it was snapped.

And still, I travel…

Next Time: When Fate Has Its Say

About the Photographer: Toulouse Le Grandfig was a surrealist painter, photographer and writer who never gave up dadaism. Also, he never said never … well, almost never.

You know who’s really attractive, especially when they’re wearing pants and paper bags? Nick Motbot, from Marvellous Hairy. Eat more stew! Originally published July, 2008.