Mark A. Rayner's irregular and explosive weblog
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When her friends invited her to the Harry Harrison Make Room! Make Room! Noodle Bar, Stacy expected a fun night out. Perhaps they would drink too much sake, eat some noodles tinted with green dye (that they would jokingly call “soylent green”) and forget about the tiny zombies rampaging through the city.
To her horror, she was presented with tofu.
More terrifying tofu here. Thanks to Betenoir for the photo.
If you’re a fat bastard trying to shed a few pounds, you may want to lay off the artificial sweeteners.
According to a study from Purdue University, rats fed a diet of artificially sweetened yoghurt ate more and gained more weight than those fed yoghurt sweetened with sugar.
Okay, so if you’re a pudgy rat, then avoid the artificial sweeteners for sure, but the researchers believe there may be similar effect on humans. They think the artificial sweetener may screw up the body’s natural ability to track calories based on sweetness, and cause it to want to eat more.
They may also increase your craving for garbage and cause an uncontrollable urge to enter politics.
You can find more of the whiskery details at the Globe and Mail. Other failed dieting plans here.
Even radioactive mutants need love. Happy VD!
Will you still love me when Seth releases me from the underworld? Cause I’ll find you. Happy VD!
Last night I had the strangest dream … I was filling bottles … thousands of bottles … and when I awoke, all I could think of was you. Happy VD!
Humor-blogs.com are mutants undead who also make us fill bottles.
Dr. Maximilian Tundra had never felt so paranoid.
Earlier that day he’d lost his medical license; luckily, he also had a PhD in biochemistry, so he would still get everyone call him “doctor”. But it was the loss of easy access to pharmaceuticals that was the problem.
No, he had to be honest with himself: the problem was the special Halloween pumpkin-and-peyote-extract milkshake he’d had at breakfast, a couple hours before the hearing.
Four hours later the anxiety and fear were at their highest. He knew that, but of course, he didn’t have complete control over it.
Then he saw the zombies.
Serious, honest-to-god zombies. They filled the street. A small group of brain-hungry shufflers were chasing patrons out of an Aldo store and biting them. There was a zombie staring right at Dr. Tundra. It looked like he used to be a priest and was finishing off an afternoon snack of tasty baby.
The screams were horrible, terrifying. Already unhinged by his de-licensing and the ill-advised peyote pick-me-up, Dr. Tundra started to shake. If he’d had more control over his body, Tundra would have run, but he didn’t.
What he did have was his .45. And enough practice that he was confident the fear and mescaline would not ruin his aim.
“Shoot for the head,” he reminded himself, as he approached the mob of zombies. Many of them seemed to be laughing and having a good time. He thought that was odd. Zombies shouldn’t laugh.
And he certainly didn’t think they would run away.
Photo by thebigdurian
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is alive and in love, living in the world's first sentient city. Lucky for both of them, nobody knows, but how long can it stay that way?
A satire set in the year 2028, The Amadeus Net is a quirky tale of art, love and identity at the end of the world.
Available directly from ENC Press or Alibris
Read excerpts of the first chapter and fourth chapter.
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