Marvellous Hairy

Marvellous Hairy http://markarayner.com A novel in five fractals, by Mark A. Rayner Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:18:12 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.2 en hourly 1 So hair is sprouting in unspeakable places and you can no longer carry a tune, but if you\'re a surrealistic artiste with an addiction to Freudian mythology and guilt-free sex, turning into a monkey has its upsides. Nick Motbot may be evolving as a novelist, but his friends aren\'t too sure about his DNA -- at least, not since Gargantuan Enterprises started experimenting with it. And once they figure out what\'s happening to him, they decide to set things right. MARVELLOUS HAIRY is a satirical novel about a group of friends sticking it to the man the only way they know how, with equal parts grain alcohol and applied Chaos Theory. A novel in five fractals, by Mark A. Rayner Mark A. Rayner http://markarayner.com/mhairy-itunes.jpgMarvellous Hairyhttp://markarayner.com yes Mark A. Rayner marayner@uwo.ca Marvellous Hairy Podcasts – Episode Eleven http://markarayner.com/archives/385 http://markarayner.com/archives/385#comments Fri, 09 Oct 2009 15:13:31 +0000 admin http://markarayner.com/?p=385 http://markarayner.com/archives/385/feed 0 <img src="http://markarayner.com/images-09/mh-podcasts.png" alt="The Marvellous Hairy Podcasts" hspace="10" align="right" />Episode Eleven — Part Four (Chapters three and four): Helena and Rob plot the down-throw of the King of the Gag, deciding to move on both the Oberon project, and on whatever Gargantuan was doing to Nick. They realize too late that Nick is already getting his third treatment, which is creating the final changes to his DNA. Helena meets him for one more coffee break in the lobby, while Rob gets to work on his sabotage. Meanwhile, Spider and Seedy try to figure out, with their kidnapping victim’s help, how to get something out of Shute. Excerpt from chapter three, while Helena and Rob plot their coup: <blockquote>I laughed again. It was easy to forget that Hot Helena was also really funny. She could definitely do much better than Shute, but she hadn’t been trying. From what I could tell, Helena had spent the last ten years working really hard. “So, I have a couple of things to ask,” I said. “Why don’t you let me start? I’ve learned a little bit about what Nick’s doing here.” “Really?” “Yes,” she said. “I’m supposed to have dinner with the guy who’s running the program Nick is in tonight, so I’ll have details, but he’s altering DNA. They’ve already done it to other animals.” “You mean, like, in vitro animals. Cloning?” “No. Live animals. The Letch seemed proud of that. They’re changing the DNA of live animals. They’ve already done their work with lower animals, and they’re starting on humans.” “Holy shit.” “I think that’s what’s happening to Nick,” Helena said. “What are they doing?” “That I don’t know. Fucking with his DNA. The Letch said something about wanting to upgrade chimps, so from that, my guess is that they’re regressing their human subjects.” “Regressing?” “Did you ever watch Star Trek?” “Uh, yeah.” “Remember the one where Riker turns into a caveman and Worf starts spraying poison all over the crew as they also deevolve?” “Oh Helena. The Next Generation?” “Yeah,” she said. “What? The middle seasons were good!” “A hottie who watches Star Trek. Even The Next Generation. How did I not date you?” “You never asked, bonehead. And that ship has sailed, so don’t get any ideas.”</blockquote> You can find all of the <a href="http://markarayner.com/marvellous-hairy/marvellous-hairy-podcasts">released episodes here</a> archived on my site. Or you may want to <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=326109214">subscribe via iTunes</a>. And you can also listen to the podcasts <a href="http://www.podiobooks.com/title/marvellous-hairy-a-novel-in-five-fractals">at the wonderful Podiobooks.com</a>. You can buy the book at <a href="http://crossingchaos.com/Marvellous_Hairy_by_Mark_A_Rayner.html">the publisherâs website</a>, because surely you don’t want to wait until November, when it will be in stores? Episode Eleven — Part Four (Chapters three and four): Helena and Rob plot the down-throw of the King of the Gag, deciding to move on both the Oberon project, and on whatever Gargantuan was doing to Nick. They realize too late that Nick is [...] Mark A. Rayner 00:19:17 Marvellous Hairy, a novel in five fractals, Mark A. Rayner Marvellous Hairy Podcasts — Episode Ten http://markarayner.com/archives/365 http://markarayner.com/archives/365#comments Tue, 06 Oct 2009 11:15:50 +0000 admin http://markarayner.com/?p=365 http://markarayner.com/archives/365/feed 0 <img src="http://markarayner.com/images-09/mh-podcasts.png" alt="The Marvellous Hairy Podcasts" hspace="10" align="right" />Episode Ten — Part Four (Chapters one and two): Determined to save Ariadne and Nick, Rob goes to Gargantuan the next day, but he is unable to get past the (potty-mouthed) guard at the elevator. Meanwhile, Shute springs a hell of a question on Helena, but allows her to talk to Larry the Letch, who is the lead researcher turning Nick into a monkey. An excerpt from chapter one, as Rob tries to visit Helena, and is prevented by the security guard: <blockquote> “That’s not a valid ID, sir,” he said. His voice had a little more of an edge to it now, as though he was saying to me, “I may be a security guard, but I’m not an idiot.” I didn’t think he was an idiot. Really. I would never assume that about someone just because of their job. “What is your business on the upper floors, sir.” He kept saying “sir” like it was some kind of insult, I mean, I’m sure he was saying “sir” but the subtext was all different. Actually, what I heard was different. So while he said, “What is your business on the upper floors, sir,” what I heard was, “What is your business on the upper floors, you lying sack of shit.” It kind of threw me.</blockquote> You can find all of the <a href="http://markarayner.com/marvellous-hairy/marvellous-hairy-podcasts">released episodes here</a> archived on my site. Or you may want to <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=326109214">subscribe via iTunes</a>. And you can also listen to the podcasts <a href="http://www.podiobooks.com/title/marvellous-hairy-a-novel-in-five-fractals">at the wonderful Podiobooks.com</a>. You can buy the book at <a href="http://crossingchaos.com/Marvellous_Hairy_by_Mark_A_Rayner.html">the publisherâs website</a>, because surely you don’t want to wait until the Fall, when it will be in stores? Episode Ten — Part Four (Chapters one and two): Determined to save Ariadne and Nick, Rob goes to Gargantuan the next day, but he is unable to get past the (potty-mouthed) guard at the elevator. Meanwhile, Shute springs a hell of a question on [...] Mark A. Rayner 00:16:54 Marvellous Hairy, a novel in five fractals, Mark A. Rayner, satire, fabulist satire, literary fiction Marvellous Hairy Podcasts — Episode Nine http://markarayner.com/archives/360 http://markarayner.com/archives/360#comments Tue, 29 Sep 2009 14:30:23 +0000 admin http://markarayner.com/?p=360 http://markarayner.com/archives/360/feed 0 <img src="http://markarayner.com/images-09/mh-podcasts.png" alt="The Marvellous Hairy Podcasts" hspace="10" align="right" />Episode Nine — Part Three (Chapters four to eight): This slightly shorter episode is all about being shaken down, stood up, and freaked out. In chapter four, Seedy and Spider put their kidnapping plan in to action, causing Hippolyta to be both amused and terrified. Ariadne stands up Shute, and we discover that he’s even colder than we thought. Erma isn’t exactly stood up by Nick, but she sure is worried about him, as she should be. We end with another update to Nick’s journal, in his Titania3000. An excerpt from his journal: <blockquote> Friends are so lovely. You feel safer around them. I like their smells, even the disgusting ones. You know they’re safe, not like the strange smells outside. The scary smells of all those throngs of people walking and laughing and hurting one another in the world. So many of them. I am so itchy. My body seems to be covered in tiny dark hairs, darker than normal. I need to work on the opus, but is gettttting ssso hard to type. It’ssss like IIIII can’tttt ccccontroll the pressssurreee with my fingerssssss. Itch. Scratch. I could rrrrreally goooo forrrr a bananananananan smoo-oo-oothy â</blockquote> You can find all of the <a href="http://markarayner.com/marvellous-hairy/marvellous-hairy-podcasts">released episodes here</a> archived on my site. Or you may want to <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=326109214">subscribe via iTunes</a>. And you can also listen to the podcasts <a href="http://www.podiobooks.com/title/marvellous-hairy-a-novel-in-five-fractals">at the wonderful Podiobooks.com</a>. You can buy the book at <a href="http://crossingchaos.com/Marvellous_Hairy_by_Mark_A_Rayner.html">the publisherâs website</a>, because surely you don’t want to wait until the Fall, when it will be in stores? Episode Nine — Part Three (Chapters four to eight): This slightly shorter episode is all about being shaken down, stood up, and freaked out. In chapter four, Seedy and Spider put their kidnapping plan in to action, causing Hippolyta to be both [...] Mark A. Rayner 00:16:14 Marvellous Hairy, a novel in five fractals, Mark A. Rayner, satire, fabulist satire, literary fiction Marvellous Hairy Podcasts — Episode Eight http://markarayner.com/archives/350 http://markarayner.com/archives/350#comments Tue, 22 Sep 2009 11:01:39 +0000 admin http://markarayner.com/?p=350 http://markarayner.com/archives/350/feed 0 <img src="http://markarayner.com/images-09/mh-podcasts.png" alt="The Marvellous Hairy Podcasts" hspace="10" align="right" />Episode Eight — Part Three (Chapter four): In this episode we gather for a nice evening out, with Rob, Nick and Max. The good news is that Rob happens to run into Ariadne at the pub. The bad news is that Max drops acid, gets “the Sauce” and has a meaningful experience with a cactus. Oh, and Nick is pretty weird too. But Rob is definitely falling for Ariadne. An excerpt: <blockquote> Meanwhile Max came out of his bedroom, dressed in some running shorts and a singlet. His green eyes looked scary, the pupils tiny despite the duskiness of the room. Nick calmed down again, and Max poured himself a scotch. He sat down, and immediately said, “Holy shit. Look at the fucking cactus!” “What about the cactus?” I asked. “I mean, look at it. How can you miss it?” Nick sensed Max’s fascination, and he started staring at it too. It was like they weren’t there, and Ariadne and I started talking. “Do they do this often?” “Hardly ever. Nick especially. I have to say, I’m really surprised. Tundra is a freak. He probably does this more than he should, but I’m not usually with him when he does, so I couldn’t tell you how frequently.” “It’s nice that you look out for your friends.” “Ah, I’ll tease them mercilessly tomorrow. And for the foreseeable future.” “Yeah, but you know.” She slid closer to me on the couch.</blockquote> You can find all of the <a href="http://markarayner.com/marvellous-hairy/marvellous-hairy-podcasts">released episodes here</a> archived on my site. Or you may want to <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=326109214">subscribe via iTunes</a>. And you can also listen to the podcasts <a href="http://www.podiobooks.com/title/marvellous-hairy-a-novel-in-five-fractals">at the wonderful Podiobooks.com</a>. You can buy the book at <a href="http://crossingchaos.com/Marvellous_Hairy_by_Mark_A_Rayner.html">the publisherâs website</a>, because surely you don’t want to wait until the Fall, when it will be in stores? Episode Eight — Part Three (Chapter four): In this episode we gather for a nice evening out, with Rob, Nick and Max. The good news is that Rob happens to run into Ariadne at the pub. The bad news is that Max drops acid, gets “the Sauce” and [...] Mark A. Rayner 20:25 Marvellous Hairy, a novel in five fractals, Mark A. Rayner, satire, fabulist satire, literary fiction, turning into a monkey Marvellous Hairy Podcasts – Episode Seven http://markarayner.com/archives/332 http://markarayner.com/archives/332#comments Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:33:06 +0000 admin http://markarayner.com/?p=332 http://markarayner.com/archives/332/feed 0 <img src="http://markarayner.com/images-09/mh-podcasts.png" alt="The Marvellous Hairy Podcasts" hspace="10" align="right" />Episode Seven — Part Three (chapters one to three): This episode is all about intimate conversations: a megalomaniac talks with his ghost, and we learn what’s going to happen to Nick. The monkey-man discovers the lure of the banana, and so does Helena, VP, Marketing, Gargantuan Enterprises. And in chapter three, the VP learns that her boss, the Megalomaniac and CEO of Gargantuan Enterprises (not his actual title) might be crazy and yes, is planning to launch a weather-controlling satellite. An excerpt from chapter two. Nick has run into Helena at the Gargantuan Enterprises building, and they have a coffee together: <blockquote>They managed to get the same table where Helena and I had sat before, and talked for a while about the weather. Midway through his coffee, Nick got up and went back to the counter where he bought a banana. The thought of it had been haunting him since he had ordered his cappuccino. “So what study are you participating in?” “Hmm. Not allowed to talk about it. There’s a helmet involved and everything,” Nick said, and then pointed to his banana. “Would you like to taste this? It’s incredible. It tastes like no other banana I’ve ever had in my life, I mean â” he took another bite, and chewed, his eyes rolling back into his head with pleasure. “I mean, this is fucking fabulous,” Nick exclaimed. “Sorry,” he smiled, a winning grin, “I didn’t mean to hog it all. Here, have a bite.” He offered the banana to Helena, and she was extremely conscious of his hand holding it as her lips surrounded the pale flesh of the fruit. Her face flushed, and she took a bite, self-consciously. It tasted like a banana, but the accompanying rush of blood to her face, and other regions, gave it an extra zest. “Mmm,” she said. “Yeah!” Nick finished the fruit, and got up to buy another one.</blockquote> You can find all of the <a href="http://markarayner.com/marvellous-hairy/marvellous-hairy-podcasts">released episodes here</a> archived on my site. Or you may want to <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewPodcast?id=326109214">subscribe via iTunes</a>. And you can also listen to the podcasts <a href="http://www.podiobooks.com/title/marvellous-hairy-a-novel-in-five-fractals">at the wonderful Podiobooks.com</a>. You can buy the book at <a href="http://crossingchaos.com/Marvellous_Hairy_by_Mark_A_Rayner.html">the publisherâs website</a>, because surely you don’t want to wait until the Fall, when it will be in stores? Episode Seven — Part Three (chapters one to three): This episode is all about intimate conversations: a megalomaniac talks with his ghost, and we learn what’s going to happen to Nick. The monkey-man discovers the lure of the banana, and so [...] Mark A. Rayner 00:25:06 marvellous hairy, by mark a. rayner, a novel in five fractals, monkey, satire, fabulist satire