The unexpected benefits of climate change

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Sure, half of Western Canada was on fire, polar bears were evolving gills, and the bee population was fucked, but there were some side benefits to global warming.

As the earth heated, cloud watchers were in for some exciting times. Generally speaking, there were fewer clouds to watch, but when there were clouds, boy-howdy were they interesting.

Right up until the moment they got together, and announced: “”We are the Cloud. Your biological and technological distinctiveness will be added to our own. Resistance is futile.”

You can’t resist Alltop’s funny either. Weird Cloud Formation by GorosArt

Little Cindi Cyborg

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The Little Cindi Cyborg Doll

The best part about the Little Cindi Cyborg doll was that it was a great way to teach kids responsibility.

Not only was each Little Cindi Cyborg semi-sentient, she was outfitted with a hyper-plasma retainer and an ocular implant that allowed her to see into the infrared and ultraviolet spectra — this was especially helpful when playing “hide-and-seek” with the gigantic and ravenous CEOs that roam most planets of the Liquid Fermentation Galaxy.

On the down side, if the child didn’t feed her enough nutrient compound, then the Little Cindi Cyborg doll would become sluggish and whiny — right before she exploded in a hail of platinum implants and gobbets of Clonerrific(TM) flesh.

But once the lesson had been learned, children were ready for a puppy.

Alltop can’t keep a goldfish alive. Originally published in 2007. Genius photo by Bistrosavage