Long before Giuseppe Del Balso invented cross-dimensional rift surfing, full-frontal time travel, or the pleasures of Zoot, he had many adventures, riding through the Italian countryside on his iron Dobbin.
Though invented to teach children how to ride a horse, the iron Dobbin was not exactly the most comfortable or speedy ride — that is, until the precocious young Giuseppe got his hands on it. Supercharged and enhanced with the electro-fuel that would later start the War of Pasta Memes in the Horse Head Nebula, the iron Dobbin was capable of great speeds. He once rode it from Padua to Otranto in an astonishing three hours and forty minutes. (He lost his trademark fez* in a near collision with Mussolini’s station wagon outside a gelato stand in Brindisi.)
Though greatly enhanced in speed, the genius-child was unable to do anything about the gut-churning gait of the iron Dobbin, nor prevent the jarring motion that cost him several molars, a testicle, and indeed, his sanity.
*the lost hat was later replaced by his trademark SUPERFEZ.
Muffy and Cuddles were pretty sure they had the math right, but they had a lingering worry that the explosion might ignite the Earth’s atmosphere.
On the other hand, the cat was certainly never going to bother them again.
No cats were harmed in the making of this post. Alltop was, just by linking to them. Originally published in 2009.
Research scientists from GruntWerx 3000 (The Caring Company) were thrilled to finally track down the source of the mysterious transmissions the Corporate Imperium has been receiving for centuries, proving once and for all the existence of non-human non-robotic sources of intelligence in the multi-verse.
Unfortunately, the creatures of Bonodminton (in the Crimson-Arsed Nebula) have fixated on an unlikely “sport” outlawed by the Corporate Imperium twelve centuries ago for being extremely suggestive and silly.
The creatures will be eliminated as soon as the fleet of Red Juggernauts arrives at their desolate, shuttle-cock infested planet.
Work has kept me away from my latest long fiction project for a while, and this quote keeps floating around my head. (That, and some kind of growling sound…)