Wow, it’s hard to believe that we’ve already got to the last two episodes. And here they are, without further blah, blah, blah:
Episode Fourteen — Part V (Chapters one and two):
Spider and Seedy finally come to the Kunfu-riffic conclusion to their kidnapping caper, learning all about Japanese sword-making, physics and why acrylic ski masks suck. In chapter two, the gang finally puts their plan into action, and they capture the King of the Gag, learning that he has some seriously lizardfish proclivities. And that two women kissing is not as hot as it first sounds.
An excerpt from the kidnapping, as Shute arrives at Helena’s apartment:
The idea was that Max and I were going to get into Helena’s closet and wait for their signal. They hoped to get Shute to agree to being tied up, as part of their little three-some. If that went off without a hitch, then it should make things considerably easier.
We all had another drink together, to kill the last twenty minutes before Shute was due to arrive. No doubt he would be fashionably late. By one pm, we were all keyed up. I don’t mind telling you there was an awkward psycho-sexual energy in the room, not at all dampened by another round of scotch. Honza Chodets was tasting better and better.
I was so wound up, I almost dropped my scotch, when at five-to-one, there was a knock at the door. Helena grabbed our drinks, poured them into the sink, and shooed us into her bedroom, where Max and I got into the walk-in closet. Ariadne waited in the bedroom, looking at me through the slats in Helena’s closet doors.
Helena let Shute in and his eyebrows actually arched when he saw what she was wearing. “Where’s Thipirous?” he asked. “I hope she’s not dressed as provocatively as you Borovich, or my heart might not be able to take it.”
Episode Fifteen — Part V (Chapters three to seven):
After they move Shute, Helena and Max have an ethical discussion about kidnapping, medical malpractice, and branding. The media conference is more like a circus, as the media isn’t exactly on its best behavior. And then Rob gets to watch while the Ghosts have their revenge. In the end, they all live, happily, and ever after. Though Nick still has something to say through his lovely Titania3000.
An excerpt from Dr. Tundra and Helena’s discussion of branding:
“Seriously. You like scotch, right? So say you buy a cer-tain brand and we know that there’s this other brand that is just as good, but less expensive. We can help you find that other brand,” Helena said
“Hmm. Single malt kind of defies the brand concept, I think,” Max replied.
“No, not at all. In fact, single malt is a great example of the power of the brand. We all know that Glenfiddich is a good scotch, but there are lots of other single malts that are better. But everyone knows Glenfiddich — even people who don’t like single malt scotch — because of the strength of its brand. It’s not just the actual product, it’s about the feelings you have for the product. And that’s because they were branding their scotch before people even knew what branding was.”
“So what is Gargantuan’s brand?”
“That’s the problem I have with Shute.”
“That’s your problem? Not the fact that he’s just messed with Nick’s DNA?” Max said. He looked at Shute contemptuously, and for a moment Helena thought he might kick the partially conscious man.
“Well, that too, but he’s not building the Gargantuan brand.”
“You’ve helped kidnap him because of branding?”
“Oh, no, I have other reasons too, but that is my corporate reason for doing so.”
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