Tag Archives | cthulu

What Groundhog Day Means on Alternative Earths

Groundhog laughing

  • Our Universe: groundhog sees its shadow = 6 more weeks of winter.
  • Foofy Bum Universe: annual celebration of Lord Fuzzy’s victory over the Lizard Horde.
  • Zentropia Universe: day of the year when all rodents are allowed to drive.
  • It’s-in-the-hole! Universe: Bill Murray [praise be his name] emerges from his four-fold slumber and chooses what remakes will be permitted in Hollywood that year.
  • Universe of the Great Unnamed Ones: groundhog sees its shadow = 6 more eons of creeping dread.
Alltop loves seeing its own humor.

 

 

Daisy, Daisy, Call on the Cthulu

daisy Stagbys riding four-seater bike with three Cthulu

At first, everyone was really excited when Daisy Stagbys joined the Brighton Cycling Society. She was young, hot, and had a four-seater.

And then, when she suggested that she had some “friends” who would love to be involved, they were thrilled. (Membership had been in decline for years.)

But something about the new members made everyone a tad uncomfortable. Especially Jeremy Cthulu. (Pictured riding above the rear wheel, just before he devoured the soul of Mira Tendercones in a cloud of black aching dread.)

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The Fridgularity Buy my latest novel, which features a fridge that causes the black aching dread of not having an Internet connection. Available in all formats in all the usual places online:

Paperback ($16.99)
Amazon.com | Barnes & Noble Amazon.ca | Or get $3 off, if you buy it direct from Monkeyjoy Press.

Ebooks ($4.95)
Kindle | Smashwords | Kobo | Nook | iTunes

Alltop is filled with black aching funny. Photo via Twisted Vintage. Originally published April, 2010.

Dominus Vobiscum

After the disastrous Papacy of Benedict XVI, all the secret societies decided to go a different way with the new pontiff.

Schematic for RoboPopeThe Freemasons were keen to start putting their new genetic engineering technology to use, and so create some kind of freakish monstrosity that would be a continued impediment to population control. They were shouted down by the Illuminati, who were excited about the possibilities of having the first artificial pope.

The Priory of Sion and the Jesuits were in agreement a change was in order, but they could not agree on doctrinal issues (though the Jesuits had half a candidate in mind); the Vril Society was totally useless, proposing it was now time to introduce their alien masters to the world in the form of a scaly lizard-like beast called Todd.

The Creeping Dread Society felt it was time for some sort of cephalopod to hold the office, and the Skull and Bones felt that this was Jeb’s time.

In the end, they opted for a mixture of approaches — with considerable help from Sony — and the first RoboPope was introduced to the world.

Alltop hopes to one day be a Bishop of Death, and know the Latin phrase for “The Lord be with you”. Originally published October 2010.