Lord of the Flies

Lord of the FliesLord of the Flies follows a group of boys as they go to the worst summer camp ever.

There are no tents or cabins for them to sleep in, the food is terrible, and the staff seem to have left the boys completely to their own devices. Luckily, one of the campers is a homicidal maniac, and he begins hunting wild pigs that live in the forest around the camp, so they do not starve.

Eventually, the camp counselors return, and boy are they upset when they see what the homicidal maniac has been up to in their absence — killing all the unpopular, fat and nice boys.

At the end of the story, the camp’s insurers pull the camp’s coverage, and it is forced to close down.

pirate therapy

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Speaking of Goodreads, you can win a copy of my new book, Pirate Therapy & Other Cures, in a giveaway that ends May 15.

Add me as a friend while you’re there!

Alltop is the Piggy of humor aggregators.

A dystopia in which we can all believe

betty white power poster
Icelandic artist, filmmaker, and musician Omar Hauksson presents a futuristic vision for us to revel in:

We here at Nakatomi only tolerate one kind of White Power- BETTY WHITE POWER! Betty White rules the atomic wasteland with an iron fist, making sure we’re all nice to our domestic pets. If you kick a dog, she will cut you man. Cut you quick.

You can get the print here.

Alltop takes iron fist supplement with every breakfast.

Classics of Literature — Dystopias & Post-Apocalyptic Hijinks (#1)

1984

1984 coverI’m not sure why everyone is so freaked out about this pretty ordinary tale about a door-to-door salesman and his quest for meaning in a brutal work environment. The love affair between Winston and Julia is touching, though I’m not sure why it’s so …more I’m not sure why everyone is so freaked out about this pretty ordinary tale about a door-to-door salesman and his quest for meaning in a brutal work environment. The love affair between Winston and Julia is touching, though I’m not sure why it’s so important that she fetishes the vacuum attachments Winston is trying to sell her on their first meeting.

I was rather impressed by Orwell’s ability to predict the invention of Creep-Vee, “The Television that Watches You!” (I’m not a big fan, though I know most of the kids really like it, especially the shows where they get to vote on who has to eat the raw goat’s anus)

I was also impressed by Orwell’s ability to predict the rise of Fox News.

The Road

The RoadYou’d think an adventurous post-apocalyptic story would have more pitched sea battles and swordplay, so I was really disappointed with this book. There was only one boat, no pirates, and the violence wasn’t very romantic.

There is some baby-eating, which I found disturbing. Disturbing enough that even this effort won’t clear it from my consciousness:

the road portable meal systems

I dares ya to buy it as a t-shirt.

Alltop likes its baby with carrots.