Tag Archives | existentialism

Camusic of the Spheres 

kermit smokingThe dreams had returned, again, and no amount of coffee and cigarettes could keep their influence at bay.

The ennui was crushing at times, and even talking with an outrageous French accent would not help.

He thought of his days in the theatre. Oh, the crazy antics they’d get up to behind the proscenium. His torrid affair with the La Belle Cochon. All of the strange creatures that inhabited his world back then seemed like a forgotten summer’s holiday: it was a feeling. The intimation of sunlight glinting off his green skin… pretty girls in crinoline … absinthe parties under the panoply of the Milky Way. And so many more wisps that could be regrets if he could only recall what they were.

He was hollow. A shell. A cipher and an entertainer. These things he could be certain of, but nothing else.

Except that he always smelled of bacon.

Alltop is hammy.


The perils of evolution

One day you wake up and watch the sun rise, ripe and scarlet over the savanna, and you know it can never hold you back.

The next, you’re unable to hold a conversation with other humans in the flesh, and you have the attention span of an unhinged hummingbird. Inside your head there are noises that would have terrified you before, on the plains, but now they are the background radiation of your mind. You’re surrounded by voices. Within this clamour there is only the silent pulse of a thought that never comes, an impulse suffocated by plenty, a drive misdirected by old mythology.

You long for the reality of stone, the scrape of grass on your bare legs, and the silence of nature, tooth and claw. You wonder if you should Tweet this yearning, but — hey, new Facebook interface!

Alltop used to hunt Facebook in the old days. Originally published in 2011, and now a part of Pirate Therapy. I thought I’d post it again, in light of the new FB changes :)

Did I Miss Anything?

Desks in classroom

Nothing. When you are not present how could something significant occur?

Question frequently asked by 
students after missing a class

by Tom Wayman
The Astonishing Weight of the Dead.
Vancouver: Polestar, 1994.

Nothing. When we realized you weren’t here
we sat with our hands folded on our desks
in silence, for the full two hours

Everything. I gave an exam worth
40 per cent of the grade for this term
and assigned some reading due today
on which I’m about to hand out a quiz
worth 50 per cent

Nothing. None of the content of this course
has value or meaning
Take as many days off as you like:
any activities we undertake as a class
I assure you will not matter either to you or me
and are without purpose

Everything. A few minutes after we began last time
a shaft of light descended and an angel
or other heavenly being appeared
and revealed to us what each woman or man must do
to attain divine wisdom in this life and
the hereafter
This is the last time the class will meet
before we disperse to bring this good news to all people
on earth

Nothing. When you are not present
how could something significant occur?

Everything. Contained in this classroom
is a microcosm of human existence
assembled for you to query and examine and ponder
This is not the only place such an opportunity has been

but it was one place

And you weren’t here

Alltop never skips the funny class. You may also want to check out the author’s thoughts on the poem. Via Mandy Grzyb

La dolce vita

Dinosaur in shopping cart

It wasn’t always so easy. There used to be an anger in him. An emptiness that nothing could fill … nothing material anyway.

He fell through time and space, and into a kind of dream. And it seemed as though an age passed him by, the stars streaming through the sky as though he watched them in time lapse photography. A billion billion tiny wisps of light that reminded him of Carl Sagan’s wonder at the universe.

And when it all stopped, when the spinning ended, he was filled.

Though the cart was still empty.

Alltop has no idea what the fuck just happened there. Photo by mugley on Flickr.