- Gilligan is marooned on “Más a Tierra”, later renamed to Robinson Crusoe Island, with Alexander Selkirk, a Scottish castaway who had a low tolerance for bullshit
- Joey (from Friends) is sent back in time to live with Fourth Earl of Sandwich, while the Earl was still working on his eponymous invention. (I recommend sending Joey back to the time when Sandwich was still using cedar boards instead of bread.)*
- Transport all the characters of MASH (season 7 or after) back to the actual Korean War. This could be first offering in a series of pop culture/war mashups, which could include:
- McHale’s Navy at the Battle of Trafalgar
- China Beach at the Crimea
- Hogan’s Hero’s at the Battle of Gaugamela (put them on Persian side for maximum laughs)
- Jerry Seinfeld is sent to work at a medieval tannery in Sweinslop, Germany, without any sneaker polish
- Cliff Claven and Norm Peterson join the Donner Party.
- The main cast of Sex in the City visits Krakatoa, in 1883, moments before it explodes with the 13,000 times the force of the Hiroshima bomb.
This is just the beginning. Now all we need to do is invent a working time machine, and have some kind of way of turning fictional characters into real people.
*You may want to check out Woody Allen’s excellent article about the invention of the sandwich, Yes, But Can the Steam Engine Do This? Alltop would love to join the Donner Party. It loves parties!