As you may know, I’ve written a novel in which Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is alive and well, and supporting himself by writing “lost” Mozart pieces.
Another one was discovered earlier this week in an attic in Austria. According to the BBC story, it was composed by a young Mozart and transcribed by his father, Leopold. It’s not his most brilliant work, but what do you want, the kid was 10.
No word yet on if there were orange fingerprints on it. (This is how Mozart’s secret is discovered in my story — his penchant for Cheezie-os while he composes.)
ENC Press is giving away a free PDF copy of The Amadeus Net for anyone who’d like to learn what an immortal Mozart would do about falling in love with a lesbian nurse (who works at a sex-change clinic). The Amadeus Net is a satirical novel that explores art, love, and identity at the end of the world.
Baptized Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Gottlieb) Mozart
That fourth name variously translated to:
On names (slide four)
All-in-all, prefer Amadè
Close friends and family can call me “Wolfers”
YOU can lick my arse!
‘Till it’s clean!
Papa was a pimp (slide two)
And I was the boy mawke, as they say in London.
A famous pianist, as you know.
Pianist, pianist, pianist!
Papa was a pimp (slide three)
And my sister Nannerl, she was a bunter too.
A prodigious player of pianii.
Johann Christian Bach (slide four)
shown me how to put a lovely surface texture on piano sonata in B-flat
plus it sounds good with dramatic farts!
Constanze (slide twelve)
Light of my life
Puts up with long nights, expense of candles
Did I mention her cunny?
Prague (slide two)
My Praguers understand me.
They liked Don Giovani.
And my pizzle-fizzle!
Composing (slide six)
And a place to shit!
Death (slide two)
Would have lived longer without all the bleeding.
Oh, and the piss!
Alltop is marginally more foul-mouthed. Inspired by Mozart’s 255th birthday (yesterday). Originally published in January, 2006. Brought to you by The Amadeus Net, which features our caca-mouthed composer .