Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. Unless you were going all the way. Kurtz got off the boat. He split from the whole fuckin’ program.
And me? I was off the boat the same time as Kurtz. Sure, I’d been obeying orders, but my mind was gone. I was in fields of green and clover. With milkmaids.
Oh man, those bullshit milkmaids…
But I had a job to do, and there would be no welcome, supple fingers pulling on my teats when we got to the end of the river. Only charcoal briquettes.
The barbecue … the barbecue.
Alltop is the catastrophic cattle baron of humor. Originally published on Name Your Tale, 2009.