Tag Archives | Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Mozart’s birthday today

To celebrate, let’s play his famous requiem:

The Amadeus NetAnd then go check out The Amadeus Net, a novel in which I posit that:

  • the big guy never died
  • he toys with the idea of gender realignment
  • when not contemplating the snipping of his “sprouter”, he enjoys playing jazz
  • the composer is much beloved by the world’s first sentient city.

Paperback via ENC Press. Available as ebooks on Kindle and at Smashwords.

Alltop is the world’s first sentient humor aggregator. Thanks to Yareah Magazine for noting the date.

The Lost PowerPoint Slides (Letter from Wolfers Edition)

Side view of WA MozartOn names (slide one)

Baptized Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Gottlieb) Mozart
That fourth name variously translated to:

  • Amadeus (Latin)
  • Gottlieb (German)
  • Amadeo (Italian)
  • Amadè(French)

On names (slide four)

  • All-in-all, prefer Amadè
  • Close friends and family can call me “Wolfers”
  • YOU can lick my arse!
  • ‘Till it’s clean!

The Amadeus Net - cover image

Papa was a pimp (slide two)

  • And I was the boy mawke, as they say in London.
  • A famous pianist, as you know.
  • Pianist, pianist, pianist!

Papa was a pimp (slide three)

  • And my sister Nannerl, she was a bunter too.
  • A prodigious player of pianii.

Johann Christian Bach (slide four)

  • shown me how to put a lovely surface texture on piano sonata in B-flat
  • plus it sounds good with dramatic farts!

Constanze (slide twelve)

  • Light of my life
  • Puts up with long nights, expense of candles
  • Did I mention her cunny?

Prague (slide two)

  • My Praguers understand me.
  • They liked Don Giovani.
  • And my pizzle-fizzle!

Composing (slide six)

  • Difficult work.
  • Requires rewriting.
  • And a place to shit!

Death (slide two)

  • Would have lived longer without all the bleeding.
  • Oh, and the piss!
Alltop is marginally more foul-mouthed. Inspired by Mozart’s 255th birthday (yesterday). Originally published in January, 2006. Brought to you by The Amadeus Net, which features our caca-mouthed composer .

Is Mozart still alive?

cartoon of Mozart with rainbow wigAnd is he wearing one of those rainbow clown wigs?

One of the premises of my first novel is that Mozart is alive and well. (And living in the future, where clown wigs, political posturing, and human stupidity have been eradicated.)

In the book, Mozart spends a lot of his time playing jazz piano, considering sex-change operations, and falling in love with lesbian nurses, but how does he support these diverting hobbies? By selling “lost” Mozart manuscripts through auctioneers such as Sotheby’s.

Kinda like the one they sold yesterday:

A leaf in Mozart’s hand with cadenzas written for the Sinfonia Concertante in E flat, one of his first masterpieces, sold Tuesday for £110,900 ($230,550) at auction in London.

The full story is on the CBC.ca site. You can get the book directly from the ENC Press site, or at Alibris.