Category Archives: Mark Reviews Stuff

Reviews that Mark has written about the work of other writers and creative types. He generally only reviews stuff that he likes, so don’t look here for snark.

Ender’s Game

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Ender's GameThis is a fun and page-turning read about eugenics, institutionalized child abuse, and interstellar genocide.

Humanity is at war with a distance race of aliens (called “Buggers”) and for some reason, the adults are unable to discover the best way to fight this implacable ant-like enemy. (Apparently, Boric Acid doesn’t work.)

What it really requires is the sense of wonder and innocence that only a child can have, and so, the people in charge of Earth’s governments start a breeding program to turn out kids designed to be excellent space warriors.

The children are all tagged so the authorities can monitor all their thoughts and movements, while they are being evaluated for service in the International Fleet. (A device that is similar to an iPhone, but a little smaller, and you can’t download your own apps to it.) After he is un-tagged, a young Ender Wiggin is attacked by bullies, and he kills one of them, so that the bullies will no longer bother him. The IF realizes it has made a horrible mistake. This is just the kind of ruthless logic they need in their war.

The rest of the novel follows Ender’s rise through the ranks at Battle School and Command School, a marginally creepy shower scene, and eventually, the set up for an excellent sequel, The Speaker for the Dead.

It is worth noting that an anagram of Ender Wiggin is “Ending Grew I.”

pirate therapy

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Speaking of Goodreads, you can win a copy of my new book, Pirate Therapy & Other Cures, in a giveaway that ends May 15.

Add me as a friend while you’re there!

Alltop is an anagram of pot-all!

The Stranger (The Outsider)

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the strangerI read this originally in French class, sometime during my high school career. (Where I was a music nerd, and a hard-core nerd, long before that was remotely cool.)

Most of this famous existential work was read aloud in class, by a collection of students with a wide variety of accents and grasp of the French language. If I remember correctly, Lorne’s delivery was amusing, but that might have been because he was pretending he was Soupy the Clown. By far the most hilarious moment was when our teacher asked my friend Garth a question, and he replied: “Je ne sais pas comprendre.” (I don’t know HOW to understand.) The teacher doubled over with laughter.

Despite the fact that I was doing poorly in this class, I was secretly in love — or at least a more advanced lust — with my French teacher. (A fact I only now reveal for comic effect, but back then I would have been mortified if the world had known. Surely this is some kind of rite of passage, falling in “lovust” with your language instructor?)

The novel is about the farcical nature of French colonial justice, the absurdity of free will and the benefits of not washing.

pirate therapy

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Speaking of Goodreads, you can win a copy of my new book, Pirate Therapy & Other Cures, in a giveaway that ends May 15.

Add me as a friend while you’re there!

Alltop thinks washing is absurd too.

The Catcher in the Rye

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The Catcher in the Rye - cover imageIn 1950, J.D. Salinger was hired by the New York City Tourist Bureau to write a jazzy and young novel about the city that never sleeps, in hopes of increasing general awareness about the city, and why it was such a great travel destination. Boy, did they spend their money wisely.

Salinger’s story centers around the character of Holden Caulfield, who is a adolescent Catcher in training. The Catchers all have their own unique super-powers, and they are dedicated to making the world a better, more livable place. They are all trained at the famed Pencey Prep. Because of his impressive Talent (a mix of adolescent angst and insightfulness), he is sent by his Headmaster to New York City, to help make the city more livable and kind.

Caulfield faces many challenges and mystical experiences, in which he discovers that he is neither an orphan, nor the bastard son of the Evil Governor. For most characters, this is the kiss of death. Having no evil father to fight or lack of parents to overcome generally means you can be a bit player, or at best, the sidekick of the hero. But Caulfield digs deep and discovers hidden reserves of sarcasm that enable him to remain the novel’s protagonist, and not get molested by an old Master of Dark English.

Little known fact: The NYC Tourist Bureau paid Salinger $12 and “all the ether he could sniff” to write the book.

pirate therapy

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Speaking of Goodreads, you can win a copy of my new book, Pirate Therapy & Other Cures, in a giveaway that ends May 15.

Add me as a friend while you’re there!

Alltop enjoys a good sniff at the end of a hard day’s humor aggregating. Originally published November 2010.

Lord of the Flies

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Lord of the FliesLord of the Flies follows a group of boys as they go to the worst summer camp ever.

There are no tents or cabins for them to sleep in, the food is terrible, and the staff seem to have left the boys completely to their own devices. Luckily, one of the campers is a homicidal maniac, and he begins hunting wild pigs that live in the forest around the camp, so they do not starve.

Eventually, the camp counselors return, and boy are they upset when they see what the homicidal maniac has been up to in their absence — killing all the unpopular, fat and nice boys.

At the end of the story, the camp’s insurers pull the camp’s coverage, and it is forced to close down.

pirate therapy

#

Speaking of Goodreads, you can win a copy of my new book, Pirate Therapy & Other Cures, in a giveaway that ends May 15.

Add me as a friend while you’re there!

Alltop is the Piggy of humor aggregators.