We had a similar custom on my homeworld, Neecknaw, but there we called them Slorg Wishes.
Slorg was once the Overlord of our planet, back in the Taupe Ages — he was known colloquially as the Beige Lord, but he was actually quite a colorful character.
Every year, he would Wish that he could make something better about the people who worked for him. For Bluknark the Compulsive Eater (Minister of Celebrations and Public Executions), Slorg required that he lose some of his massive monkey gut. For the Minister of War and Love, Lord Prangdong, Slorg required fewer paternity suits. And so on.
And then the next year, Slorg would review their progress during his Annual Performance Evaluation Festival. (Known amongst the commoners as the APE-fest.) If you did not keep to your goals, then Slorg exacted some kind of punishment, depending on how badly you missed the mark. The aforementioned Bluknark actually gained weight one year, and he was fed to the Almighty Cram-Beast, and is presumably still being digested. Though Ministers were held to a higher standard, everyone was terrified of not meetings Slorg’s Wishes.
If you succeeded, that was called “Meeting Expectations” and you were only lightly tasered, right before the Breakfast After APE-fest. (This kept costs down because people were usually not too hungry then.) Naturally, the following year’s Slorg Wishes were quite a bit more onerous, because if a tool like you could meet your goals, then clearly, they weren’t challenging enough.
My suggestion is that you engage me as your Slorg. I have my own taser and everything.
Next Time: Has anyone ever told you, that for a diminutive simian, you’re dead sexy?
Alltop always exceeds expectations. Originally published, January 2007. Wild.