Great dark stuff, very Tarantoesque! By Alfa Primo.
Alltop prefers Rainbow Connection. H/T to Adam Fraser!
Naturally, Steve Miller sits at the very center of this one. The only issue that I have with it is that Miller’s identities are all self-identified, while the others don’t seem to be.
Now we just need to wait for all the space cowboys, gangsta of love, and peach-tree shakers to come crawling out of the woodwork.
You know, I’m getting a little tired of all the snide remarks about the way I fight crime.
We live in a world that has villains, and those villains have to be defeated by men with Batarangs. Or superpowers, if you’ve got them. (Yeah, and females too, don’t get your star-spangled knickers in a knot, Wonder Women.) I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for the psychotic killer that I sent to the hospital last night, and you curse my “methods”. You have that luxury.
Green Lantern, you can always capture crooks with that weird glowing shit from your alien ring. And you Wonder Woman, I wonder if that golden truth-telling lasso is as innocuous as it looks? You have easy options.
You know that when I beat that punk to within an inch of his life, while tragic for him, I saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. I find it particularly ironic that you, Martian Manhunter find me grotesque, but you do, don’t you, you green uni-browed freak!
I’ll grant my methods are extreme, but they work. You people with your superpowers don’t dare admit it. You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you want me cruising the streets of Gotham in my Batmobile, you need me in my Batmobile! Who else is going to clean up that bat-hole?
I use words like discipline and detective work and a lot of made-up words starting with “Bat”. I use these words as the backbone of a life spent intimidating the criminal classes. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to you, who succeed because of the detective work that I provide, and then question the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a Batarang and solve a few crimes without your superpowers.
Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think is “excessive” or “brutal” or “verging on insane”. Continue reading
Though I’m not sure the cartoon below has the elegance of the madeleine episode from The Remembrance of Lost Time (the first volume of which I’ve actually read), this cartoon below wins on brevity. If you want to save yourself several weeks of reading, and need to know about this reference, you can find the text for the madeleine episode here, or even better, you can read my own memory of how this passage goes, as follows:
“No sooner had the warm liquid mixed with the crumbs touched my palate than a shudder ran through me and I stopped, intent upon the extraordinary thing that was happening to me. An exquisite pleasure had invaded my senses, something isolated, detached, with no suggestion of its origin. And at once the vicissitudes of life had become indifferent to me, its disasters innocuous, its brevity illusory – this new sensation having had on me the effect which love has of filling me with a precious essence; or rather this essence was not in me it was me. I had ceased now to feel mediocre, contingent, mortal. I had developed superpowers. I could fly, and turn invisible, invisible, not only in the metaphorical sense, in the way that I was non-existent to the crowds of French wankers surrounding me because I was their social inferior, but actually unable to register to their visual senses, no matter their level of acuity! My brain was pulsing with incipient powers that raised in me several anxieties; would I be able to rip the bodice off the dancing girl who had so recently slighted me because of my deeply introverted and overly sensitive, many would say almost womanly nature, with my new found and burgeoning telekinesis? Would she object to my transparent advances, or succumb to my new super-strength, virility, nay, almost god-like extroversion and clear superiority? In any case, revenge would be mine!”