Archive | Hinky History

Vintage Coulrophobia

vintage cereal box - sugar krinkels (with terrifying clown)

Sugar Krinkles: so you have the energy to run from psychotic clowns!

Things that make him extra scary:

  • tiny hat
  • suspiciously perfect teeth
  • he’s wearing someone else’s face
  • he painted it to blend with his face
  • the broken pinkie.
Alltop thinks he broke the pinkie in a funny way. (Maybe ripping off that face?)

Get a longer blast of clown terror by downloading Clown Apocalypse. Just sign up for my email list and you can have it for free.

The 70s called

The 70s called

I remember talking to my Grandfather on the phone in 1974. He was in Canada, and I was in the UK.

There was an echo that made it very difficult to hear his voice; I think he struggled even more than I did with managing to talk over what we’d just said, as it bounced around in the cable under the sea. It actually sounded like he was submerged, his voice was so faint and distant. It was still pretty exciting to talk to him, though, especially since I knew he was so far away.

I have no idea what he’d make of my iPhone. He was a practical guy though, so he’d just probably use it, no doubt after swearing a bit about how tiny the buttons were.

Alltop has humor on the line.

What Groundhog Day Means on Alternative Earths

Groundhog laughing

  • Our Universe: groundhog sees its shadow = 6 more weeks of winter.
  • Foofy Bum Universe: annual celebration of Lord Fuzzy’s victory over the Lizard Horde.
  • Zentropia Universe: day of the year when all rodents are allowed to drive.
  • It’s-in-the-hole!¬†Universe: Bill Murray [praise be his name] emerges from his four-fold slumber and chooses what remakes will be permitted in Hollywood that year.
  • Universe of the Great Unnamed Ones: groundhog sees its shadow = 6 more eons of creeping dread.
Alltop loves seeing its own humor.

 

 

The 2nd Monday of October

moose killing hoser in front of hosette

Meanwhile in Canada … Every year on the second Monday of October, Canadians celebrate the end of the Moose Ascendency.

During this dark period of Canadian history, the moose reigned supreme, forcing our provocatively dressed women to worship them, and slaughtering any man who got in their way. Eventually, Canadians discovered the mystical powers of Flannel, and we reached an uneasy detente. (Except in Newfoundland, which joined Confederation quite late.)

We call it Thanksgiving.

Alltop is thankful for hoser-free donut shoppes. Get more goofiness by joining my mailing list: