Chief Massasoit presents items NOT supplied for the first Thanksgiving, circa 1621 (only slide)
- deep-fried turkey
- cranberry sauce
- potatoes, white or sweet
- pie of any kind (there were pumpkins, though).
Pilgrim chef suggests the following harvest feast, circa 1621 (second slide)
- wild fowl
- lobsters, mussels
- “sallet herbs” (whatever they are)
- black and red plums
- flint corn
- venison (thanks to Chief Massasoit and Wampanoag tribe for providing).
Sarah Josepha Hale, editor Godey’s Lady’s Book, presents: Let’s invent a holiday, circa 1854 (slide 3)
- roast turkey
- savory stuffing
- pumpkin pie
- Indians? What Indians?
Abraham Lincoln proclaims Thanksgiving an annual holiday in 1863 (fifth slide)
- in the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity
- still, should set apart and observe the last Thursday of November, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens
- family bickering a part of the holiday — be happy with bickering compared to civil war.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt declares that Thanksgiving would be the next to last Thursday of November, 1939 (second slide)
- depression sucks
- can’t advertise Christmas until after Turkey Day
- this gives merchants a longer period to sell goods before Christmas.
In 1941 Congress decides the last Thursday of November as Thanksgiving (only slide)
- ‘Franksgiving’ not celebrated by every state
- Split difference — sometimes Abe’s day, sometimes Franky-boy’s.
Arlo Guthrie presents Alice’s Restaurant Massacre in 1967 (only slide)
- two Thanksgivings ago helped Alice (great dinner)
- dumped garbage illegally (dump closed for T-day)
- got ticket, convicted (had to pick up garbage)
- no fit serve in Vietnam (and kill a bunch of people) because I was a litterbug.
Happy Thanksgiving (a day early) to everyone in the States!
Alltop is stuffed with humor. And walnuts. Originally published, November, 2005. Inspired by:The First Thanksgiving | Alice’s Restaurant | Original photo by Frayed
General Ludwig von Falkenhausen presents “The Week of Suffering” (circa April 2-9, 1917) –>slide 2
- Artillery relentless
- I’d guess about a million shells
- Somehow can target our artillery, even though they’re hidden behind ridge
- We ran out of aspirin, earplugs.
Allied General Arthur Currie presents “Better Creeping” (circa April 9, 1917) –>slide 4
- first wave attacks behind creeping barrage
- continuous line of shells
- improve on what we did at the Somme.
Corporal Gus Sivertz (2nd Canadian Mounted Rifles) presents “Nervy” –>slide 7
- a macabre dance
- nerves vibrated
- thousands of shells, machine gun bullets whizzed overhead
- advanced over no-man’s land
- if you put your hand up, you’d touch a ceiling of sound
- and probably lose a finger or two.
French soldier learns of victory at Vimy –>slide 1
French soldier learns four Canadian divisions fighting at Vimy with one British division–>slide 2
- Ah! les Canadiens! C’est possible!
Notes: The shelling at the battle began April 2, 1917, and the battle itself began on April 9, 1917. Vimy marked the first time that Canadian troops fought together on a a corps level, and they took the ridge with casualties of 10,000. Previous attempts to break the strong-point in the German line had cost French and British troops more than 150,000. Vimy is often seen as a defining moment in Canadian national history, and as Pierre Burton wrote in his book on the battle, it quickly attained mythic status. This seems like an appropriate post for Remembrance Day.
Alltop is in the trenches of comedy. Originally published November 2008.
Queen Elizabeth I
In her day, the first Queen Elizabeth (Queen Elizabeth I), was widely regarded as the scariest female to roam the planet since Lucy the Menopausal T-Rex. Of course, her closest advisers and the members of the English court knew that was far from the truth: Elizabeth would have destroyed Lucy.
However, amongst her subjects, she was known as Good Queen Bess; she was known as the Virgin Queen, and much beloved because she really did care about her people. The whole question of virginity was a potential PR nightmare, though in the long run, not as destructive as the lead-based makeup Bess spackled onto her face for public functions.
The Spanish Armada
In 1588 the King of Spain (Phillip II) finally got fed up with English privateers continually raiding his ships and colonies in the New World. (Note: Privateers were a kind of state-sanctioned pirate. Though they were obligated to give a portion of their booty to the monarch who licensed their pillaging, they still had hooks for hands, parrots for pets, and spent a great deal of time obsessing over “pieces of eight.”)
To put an end to English interference, Phillip amassed a ginormous flotilla — the didn’t call it an “Armada” for nothing — to support his invasion of England. The Spanish fleet might have sailed in 1587, had not the English hero, Sir Francis Drake, staged a preemptive raid on Cadiz.
For an armada of humor, set sail for the Archipelago of Chuckles. More Lost PowerPoint Slides can be found here. Originally published, June 2008. And today, incidentally, is the anniversary of the Battle of Gravelines, in which the English beat the Spanish Armada. (With the help of the weather.)