Archive | Toulouse Le Grandfig

Sex with Sue

Jeremy Cthulu

“Hi there Jeremy, you’re on the air.”

“Hi Sue. Long-time listener, first-time caller. I’m a big fan.”

“Thanks Jeremy, what did you want to talk about?”

“What if she’s not into your face?”

“In what way? Kissing?”

“No, like sitting on it in a way that she delivers up her everlasting soul to the Old One.”

“Jeremy, you’re making me hot just talking about it, so I suggest that you do the same with your girlfriend.”

“I will, Sue. Wait for my visit.”

[sound of static, embedded within it: the wail of a nameless dread]

Alltop finds nameless dread relaxing. 022 Cthulu, originally uploaded by dracorubio.

A Robot Regrets

A robot regrets

Meeptron the Bio-Destruction Bot looked out at the wasteland that once was Peoria and thought that his work had actually made it look nicer. Of course, he was programmed that way, so he couldn’t really help it. He thought about that little Red Juggernaut he’d met on Robo-Leave that summer. Gloria.

Yes, sweet Gloria. She was the kind of destructive cybernetic entity that he could see himself settling down with, and perhaps starting a family Bio-Destruction Juggernauts of their own. Of course, they’d have to build the manufactory themselves, because his boss sure wouldn’t help.

And he’d probably have to give up his dream of becoming lead dancer at the Voltron Mega-Kill Ballet. Meeptron sighed, powered up his plasma-death-beam array, and vaporized the puny humans which had survived his initial onslaught.

Alltop is not populated by puny humans either. Thanks to Alan Trotter for the pic. Originally published March, 2009, and now it’s part of the Pirate Therapy and Other Cures collection.