LONDON, Ontario (London Free Mess) — Scientists from around the world have descended upon the quiet suburban city of London, Ontario (Canada) to try and understand the revolutionary theories of a bookstore clerk.
None of his neighbors ever guessed that Les Ensible, who works for a used bookstore, was a genius.
“We always just thought Bart was a normal guy, like the rest of us, but then he came up with this idea,” Jennifer Dooley, Ensible’s somewhat mannish next-door neighbor told The Free Mess.
“It’s totally changed everything. I mean, our lives are completely different now that Les has solved the energy crisis for us,” she said.
Ensible, who normally drives a Honda SUV to work, has started riding his bicycle instead.
“It saves a lot of gas. Now I only take the car when I’m going out of town, or getting a lot of groceries or something,” Ensible explained to The Free Mess. “Otherwise, I walk or ride my bike.”
Experts from around the world are baffled by the complexity of Ensible’s theories, and have proposed a long-term study of his methods.
“This is the most breathtaking scientific insight I’ve ever come across. It will take years to understand,” said Vlugen Boorschwit, the Nobel Prize-winning physicist, and lead researcher of the Berlin Harmonium and Oil Institute’s energy program (and pretzel manufactory.)
“In the meanwhile, we can only hope that the price of petrol will come down.”
Ensible has agreed to help the scientists understand his theories, in the hope that the rest of the world will benefit from his insight.