In honour of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I thought I’d revisit my version of the classic rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from the schematic below, each thing can beat two other things, and is, in turn beaten by two other things.
The players both count to five (three), though it is obviously better to repeat the name of the game (Monkey! Robot! Pirate! Ninja! Zombie!). Each time you raise your fist and swing it down. On the fifth (third) count, you form your hand into one of the five gestures. (It is recommended that in addition to the hand gesture, you also add an aural component to this — see below for suggested noises.)
So, what beats what, and what are the gestures? What?
- Monkey fools Ninja
- Monkey unplugs Robot
Suggested noise: ee-ee-eek!
- Robot chokes Ninja
- Robot crushes Zombie
Suggested noise: ex-ter-min-ate!
- Pirate drowns Robot
- Pirate skewers Monkey
Suggested noise: arrrrr!
- Ninja karate chops Pirate
- Ninja decapitates Zombie
Suggested noise: keeee-ah!
- Zombie eats Pirate
- Zombie savages Monkey
Suggested noise: braaaaaaaaaainsss!
There is a logic to the hand gestures provided, and with any luck they are perfectly obvious. Now, you may be wondering, “Mark, are you totally insane? Are you procrastinating, perchance? Or are you just bored?” The answer is yes.
Update: based on a scientific survey of the comments, Twitter and Facebook updates, “moropinzee” seems to be the easiest name for this game to remember. Someone also had the excellent notion that there could be a full-body dance to celebrate a win.