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Vermeer’s Girl With Funky Hat About to Be Sucked Into A Naked Singularity


Few people know the Dutch painter Johannes Vermeer had an advanced understanding of modern physics, but only alluded to it in some of his works because he dare not reveal his knowledge. He lived in the mid-17th century, so if he went around talking about gravitational theories not dreamed of yet, he would have been locked up at best. (More likely — being burnt at the stake for witchcraft. Or warlockery, whatever they called it when men started raving about event horizons and the cosmic censorship hypothesis.)

This painting is actually called The Girl with the Pearl Earring, and was painted sometime around 1655. The artist may or may not have bumped uglies with the subject of this painting, even though she had a thing for weird headgear. Of course, if she looked like Scarlett Johansson, she could be wearing a live badger armed with hand grenades on her head and I wouldn’t care.

You can find more Famous Paintings with SF Titles here. If you do one of your own, let me know and I’ll add you to the gallery!

This is, of course, available as a t-shirt, at Cafe Press or Wordans.

Alltop thinks pearls are white, not silver. Originally published in July, 2009.


  1. Brilliant and hilarious work, my friend. Namaste.

  2. Thanks Matt! (I enjoyed this one too, though I was certain somebody was going to point out a naked singularity would probably not look like a pearl earring.)

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