Skip to content

Forty-seven Signs of the Apocalypse (#35)

From the Book of Cephalopods

Suckers on octopus armYeah, I speak to you about the evil times to come, and the truth shall be written in the ink of the cephalopods, and many shall wail and weep at its truth.

Lo! In this time there shall be a Contest of the Foot, throughout the lands both Holy and Heathen, and they shall worship of the Ball of the Foot. And in their wickedness, there shall be wagering, and taking of the odds, and many shekels will pass back over the hands of the Usurers, who worship the an unholy book.

And verily, it shall come to pass that in the Barbarian lands of Germania, there shall be a cephalopod of Great Power. And he shall be an mollusk of Eight Arms, and the Devil shall give it Knowledge of the Contest of the Foot, and shall predict, with great Divination. And his name shall be Paul.

Truly, this Octopus named Paul shall Divine the Contest of Foot — and it shall be a Sign! And many will Worship of the Octopus named Paul. And they shall be wicked. And others, in their wantonness, shall wish to consume of its flesh, and it will be bad.

But they all will be Suckers.

Alltop bet against wantonness and paid the price. Newsy proof: Wikipedia entry for Paul the Octopus. Suckers by Pashazade.