Skip to content

Ask General Kang: I can't stop playing Civilization V. Can you help?

ask general kangHmm. Do you have access to an intergalactic armada and enough firepower to conquer another world? If so, then I think I can help you, but I’ll need to borrow them first.

If not, then you’re screwed.

Everybody knows that the strategy game of Civilization is basically electronic crack. My advice is to take it like a bipedal hominid! Just play until your eyes start to bleed. Try not to whine about it so much, as you lose your sight, feeling, and capacity to think in non-turn-based time. It distracts the rest of us from our games.

I’m building the Pyramids!

Next week: About that slimy alien creature that crawled into my ear a couple of months ago — do you think it could be taking over my … garble, garble … NEVER MIND.

Alltop is still excited about Monopoly. And yes, CIV 5 is every bit as addictive as previous versions. And it really is as addictive as other things.


  1. I’m starting to think General Kang is an enabler.

  2. As long as it helps him win global domination, I think he’ll try anything.

  3. Pffft pyramids… Gardens of babylon oldschool!

    Hey, I started blogging again and need someone to fluff my ego, check it out before I crack the shits again and quit!

Comments are closed.