MONTREAL (The Skwib) — In a surprise move, the candidates for the leadership of the Parti Quebecois have rejected official party rules for the campaign, requiring them to be drunk.
“It is not enough that we are floor-lickingly drunk,” front runner AndrÃ© Boisclair said at a news conference yesterday.
“I have discussed it with the other candidates,” Boisclair said, “and we all agree that it would be best if we were required to take psycho reactive drugs as well. And even better if we could snort them off the tight abs of –”
“What he means to say,” Gilbert Paquette interrupted, “is that we think that the Parti would be best served if we were all as impaired as possible, short of actual brain death.”
“No,” Boisclair replied, “I did not mean that. I wanted to say that if, perhaps, I decided to snort something to further elevate our debate, I should be able to do it off the six-pack of Henri over there, just for instance.”
The other candidates were not available for comment at the time of publication, as most were under the sweet stilettos of PQ fundraiser, “Mistress” Sophia and her Legion of Pain.
PQ members will vote on the successor of current leader Bernard Landry in mid-November.
PQ front-runner deflects questions about cocaine use | Boot pic by Lemooz