NEW YORK (The Skwib) — Despite moves to eliminate the use of trans-fats from its fare, Kentucky Fried Chicken (KFC) is still addictive.
“Yes, there is still a problem with this so-called ‘food’,” Dr. Finn Gerliken, Director of the Institute for a Widening America (IWA), told The Skwib.
The IWA and other consumer groups have applauded KFC for eliminating trans fats, though its food is still far from healthy. The double-down sandwich, for example, has 50% of a day’s recommended fat allowance, and even more of the recommended saturated fat allowance, or the equivalent of eating more than three tablespoons of butter.
“Yet it is still delicious,” Dr. Gerlicken told The Skwib. “We have run some tests in our labs, and it seems the Colonel is more addictive than ever.”
In addition to high levels of fat, most of their foods include large quantities of refined salt, MSG and pure, unadulterated (delicious) evil.
“KFC foods now have double the self-loathing effect if you do succumb to your fortnightly urge to consume their fried chicken. I had four pieces just last night, and I’m still feeling intense shame. No. Please, stop looking at me,” Dr. Gerlicken said.
KFC was unavailable for comment.